Having a crack at round 2:)

Today in North Korea, a new type of shotgun makeup applier was launched, much to the dismay of Goku and all the citizens who live below 68 prestige points... Panicked rabbits put their hearts and courage down and began digging tunnels to the nearest kebab ...
"Some are calling this debacle a very fun and sinister twist of events..." said Albert Einstein, when summoned in a sceance... "If you ask me, the relativity of mass matters not here. But that of morals does ..." Spokesmen from the Farmers Union were of one accord, and sent a raven carrying a bowling bowl with a scribbled note inside that said, “abide or mud will flow tonight” ...
Nobody is certain how many mudslingers were caught in the colourful explosion caused by the launch of the beauty product... Some lost their coconut along with their livelihoods... Cookie Monster had this to say about the hairless Corbyn and this latest crisis, "You can always fool a tropical nut!"
Meanwhile, President Pucks assured the entire population of the end of the donkey’s ass that all hair will be restored to its normal position, "As soon as I get what I want...” The Pope retweeted that bitcoin communion wafers will distributed to anyone with a NAMBLA registration card