I am an ICU/ER nurse working in the pandemic.

in #news4 years ago

Hello steemitrs! I’m a 27 year old night shift ICU/ER RN. I have five years nursing experience plus two years prior of volunteer firefighting/EMS experience. My nursing background as a float nurse includes cardiothoracic, BMT/oncology, neuro, solid organ transplant, surgical, and general medicine. At home, I am also a mother to three with a stay at home husband.

Please feel free to ask me literally anything. The hardest person to offend is probably a nurse and most certainly myself. Questions can be about current events, work, my personal life, politics, religion, etc...but keep in mind the only
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questions I will not answer are ones that will violate HIPPA or patient dignity.

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I think it’s more of a fatigue and frustration issue. I have not personally dealt with coworkers who flat out denied the legitimacy of covid. More often than not they can actually lean towards being more self-righteous if I am to be honest.

I am not a COVID denier by any means, but I do question the capabilities of our government in the decisions they have made or the lack thereof. I can tell you my personal frustration is the black and white nature some people have treated the pandemic claiming that losing a business or going bankrupt is less important than losing a life. I think it’s a bit unfair to claim that everyone who is distraught from losing everything they built in life wants other people to die. Everyone just has different goals and a different idea of risk versus benefit. While I’m not denying that a life is certainly more important that money in a statement by itself, the complexity of this issue is a lot more gray. I am well aware of my own biases. I have a secure job. I do not have to worry about finding a baby sitter for my kids. Not much has changed for my family. However, there are hundreds of thousands of people out there whose lives will be affected for decades if not generations. They have lost their resources, their home, their financial security. Their kids may go hungry. They may not be able to afford college now. This may seem like a trivial issue to someone who has lost their spouse. Understand that those people who are now homeless did not know that stranger’s spouse and their priority is their own family’s well being and they might not share the same risk as others and therefor be less empathetic.The problem is we do not have a magic eight ball to predict what would happen if we did plan a instead of b. The other issue is that people who have lost their health insurance can no longer go to a doctor or afford their medications and may later on die as a long term affect of not being able to afford proper medical care. I believe the government could have found a better way to do things, but the bipartisan nature of our political system favors power hungry politicians pushing their agendas and does nothing for our citizens.

We should all do the best we can and not push blame on one another. Remember, loss and grief are different to every human being and the way we process it is different.

I see both sides of the coin and continuously strive for balance.

Except this isn’t the case. Keeping restaurants open for outdoor and reduced indoor dining isn’t forcing anybody to risk their lives.

If you don’t feel comfortable dining at a restaurant, nobody is forcing you but you are forcing millions of people to risk their livelihood which is directly linked to their mental health and healthcare.

This isn’t even to mention those in positions of power are still getting paid, my governor still had his restaurant open while forcing thousands of businesses to go bankrupt. All while big box stores are getting wealthier than ever.

I am more likely to catch covid at a Walmart than a mom & pop.

Yes and no. It has come and gone in waves with the pandemic. Right now we have more overtime needs and I could work more if I wanted to, but it is not mandatory at my hospital. We have plenty of resource and traveler staff to fill in the gaps. The most I worked voluntarily was three 16 hour shifts back to back to back. (No, I am not going to do it again...probably.) I try to balance my work life with my home life. My husband is the stay at home parent and I respect the fact that he needs a break as well.

Unfortunately I do not get paid more where I work which is a frustration to most of the hospital staff as many traveler nurses do get what is called “hazard pay.” I don’t mind not getting paid more and will happily do my job with the wage I am currently earning, but it is slightly irksome when someone does get paid more to do your same job. That being said, most traveler nurses do get paid more anyway, because they do not receive the same benefits that core staff do such as sick time, vacation time, or medical benefits. They have to go through their agency.

I have never been worried about bringing the virus home. My hospital has been very good about providing us with everything we need to stay safe. We have had zero break outs of the virus within the hospital. My family is very healthy and we do not have any comorbidities to make us higher risk. I also suspect my husband already had the virus at the beginning of the year before the pandemic really spiked. We went to Disney world in Florida just a month before the lockdowns. He came home with a high fever, body aches, and had difficulty breathing for months after but never needed hospitalization. I suspect it was COVID, but they were not testing for it yet. None of us have so much as ever gotten the sniffles this year. (Knock on wood.) I also already received the first dose of the vaccine so I trust it will be even less of an issue now.

The other side of it is, worrying would do me no good. One of my favorite movie quotes is “worrying means you suffer twice.”

Be flexible. In everything you do, be adaptable and willing to change, especially in regards to your patients and their individual needs. Ask yourself, what is the big picture?
At the beginning of every shift ask yourself, “What three things can kill my patient today?” Prepare for those things as if they are going to happen. Be proactive in making sure none of those things can happen. This method will keep your patient safe as it prevents panic and reacting to the situation in a way that may cause harm.
KNOW WHY you are doing something. If you are asked to do something, anything, by anyone, and you cannot provide a logical rational to yourself as to why you are doing said thing, stop what you are doing and ASK. If the first person doesn’t have the answer, ask someone else. Keep asking until you know why. You need a rational for your decisions or you will get into a dangerous territory of treatment versus harm. Many nurses get themselves into trouble by doing something based on unit culture without actually having a solid rational. Find the policy, and don’t be afraid to ask the doctor. There is a reason they spent as many years in medical school as they did. As long as you come from a position of wanting to learn to help take care of your patient, (and not from an attitude of “questioning” them so to speak) they will not be mean. They are usually more than happy and eager to help new nurses learn.
Don’t be afraid to say, "I’m new. I don't know what I am doing." It will get you out of most binds and there is no shame in it.
Never ignore your intuition. Trust me on this, and trust yourself. You will know when you feel it. You could save someone's life. Sometimes that intuition is as simple as leaving someone's room and just having a "gut feeling" that you should go back. Do it.
Understand that you do not know what you do not know, and that is OKAY. If at any moment, there is a question to what you are doing, STOP IMMEDIATELY. There are no stupid questions in nursing, only life saving ones.
Lastly, I leave you with my own quote, something I once said to a patient who asked me, “If I knew what I was doing?” I would rather you call me a fool for admitting what I do not know, than to actually be a fool pretending to know something I don’t.

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