Follow some rules for using Spotify

metivim (46)in #news • 3 years ago

if you use Spotify to help sleep with sleep music, you should put it on Private Sesson before you turn it on to go to bed. Spotify uses algorithms based on what you listen to suggest new music you might like as well as creating various playlists based on what you listened to in a given year or season. Having a specific type of music playing for 6 to 8 hours a night that you wouldn’t otherwise listen to can really mess up the recommendations as well as having those generated playlists be half (or more) sleeping music. By putting on Private Sesson (which you can find in your settings under Social), the algorithm doesn’t count those hours when you’re sleeping in considering what music you’re going to be into. Private Sesson also doesn’t turn off by itself until you’ve stop playing music for a few hours, so you won’t have to worry about it expiring as you sleep.

Yeah grabbing an animal and dragging it to where you are after you call them once is not training animals.

A dog will come to you if you train it correctly, the fact you have to go and get them shows you dont have recall ability.

I'll bite: How do you initially train them what "come" means, if you can't go to them, grab them and bring them to your position? Wait until they eventually move to you after you call them a couple dozen times?

The dog trainer I spoke to a few years ago (Mind: I don't have my own dog, but was dogsitting a young dog for a friend and talked to the trainer when they were visiting for one of the first sessions) essentially told us that you should usually call a command, and if the dog doesn't act on, make them do the task they should be doing (e.g. Gently push their back down for "Sit", cautiously draw their legs from a sitting position for "lie down", move them into their bed for "bed", etc.).
By now I forgot if you should reward them when they do that, but I'd wager that you should positively reinforce them complying, and at first also when you have to make them do it.

If you go to the online resources section, the first person listed - kikopup - made up the bulk of how I trained my then 1 year old dog who'd lived his entire puppyhood in a shelter (70lb black pibble mix). I always get compliments on how well behaved he is.

Essentially, "no" should never be in your vocabulary, because dogs don't understand that the way humans do. Likewise, you should alway set your dog up for success. Somewhere I learned that if you're not 75% sure your dog will follow your command, you shouldn't say it.

For example, when I taught my dog how to not pull on the leash, when we went out for a walk, every time he made the leash taut, I'd walk backwards. Once he gave up pulling and walked towards me, I'd praise him and we'd both continue walking forwards. I didn't say no. I didn't issue a command. I teach him that when he keeps the leash loose, we walk forward - and when he walks towards me, he gets praise.

You clap your hands, wave a treat, squeak a toy, or do anything at all to make them come towards you. Then once they're doing that, you say "come" and reward them with a treat. You do that many times, and they build the association. Soon you can just say "come" and they'll know to go to you for the treat. Practice this in many situations, and slowly phase out the treat.

That’s just to get them doing the physical action you want to train. You can also just wait for them to do what you want and reward them but for something like sit it’s easy to just manipulate then into a sit until they learn to associate your cues with sitting and getting a treat.

Recall is a uniquely challenging command because it requires that the dog literally thinks coming to you is the greatest possible thing it could do and will abandon all other activities for a guaranteed positive reward.

Dragging the dog over is potentially negative reinforcement. It associates an unpleasant experience with coming to the trainer.

Better is to have them on a leash and move closer until they come and get the treat.

I give you a lot of credit in the amount of self-awareness and reflection it took in assessing your parenting. Asking for help and then actually following advice given to you also shows humility and willingness to change your own habits and behavior in accepting criticism. It’s refreshing to see this kind of effort nowadays, people are too quick to shift blame instead of asking themselves what they could be doing differently. With an example like that and with the changes you’ve made, your child will do just fine. Big upvote, sometimes the most important realization is that we don't know everything. People who know everything raise bad kids. People who "know everything" are lying to themselves and thier kids. Everyone needs help sometimes. You were never a bad parent, do not say that!

kids are a malleable construct. If you tell them fifty times, they'll fuck up til the 49th time. Don't give them that margin for error. They need to know that the world isn't going to coddle them by giving them 49 times to figure it out. NOW, I'm not saying you should be an asshole, they have to know that you care, above all, but if they know that they get extra chances, they'd be stupid not to take them... know that.

Yeah don't punish them for something they didn't know was wrong. But explain and tell them there will be consequences next time. Come next time follow through. That's how they learn.

Adults learn through mistakes as well and consequences won't be even that leanient then.

It's really not that hard to be consistent and it pays off so much. My wife and mother in law always complain about how hard it is to get the kids to listen when they see them behave much better for me all the time. I'm not even a hardass but if I say something I mean it and I don't like asking multiple times.

Like the root post said, you have to state the consequences and follow through. The most important thing is that the follow through must be inevitable; there's no threatening with consequences, simply informing the child of consequences and then allowing them to choose the outcome.

If a child recognizes that the possibility of punishment is ever in question, then every issue becomes a test of wills and persistence to see if punishment will or won't happen at all. The only way to win that test of wills long-term is to remove your own will from the equation by making the consequences a simple fact that is in the child's power to suffer or avoid (instead of something you're having to take a stance on every time). Otherwise, it's simply a war of attrition against someone who has nothing else to worry about in life other than beating you.

This is a problem though. My daughter listens to me 70% of the time but she will only listen to her mom 10% of the time.

So, what am I really teaching her? It seems like I'm only teaching her that I'm the only person in the world who means what he says and will dole out punishment while everyone else will coddle her. How does that help her in the real world if she only learns to lean on people who are easy on her and be agreeable only to authority figures? That seems to be the case with much of society, who won't listen to anyone except people in authority.

Is there a better way to teach/raise children? Or is what we do as parents mostly pointless as each individual will develop their own sense of right and wrong anyway?

The younger you start this parenting habit, the easier it is on both parent and child. Add letting them know getting upset is okay, as long as they don't throw a tantrum, break things, whatever, is not only a natural reaction, but perfectly normal. Knowing what their boundaries are will do more to help them grow to functioning adults than osmosis. my god THIS. My 5-year old son has taken to LAUGHING at me when I threaten to take stuff away and then I do take it away and he LAUGHS MORE. Honestly my daughter was this bad at this age too so I know it’s normal but I just wanna drink about it. Stories like this make me think no matter how I parent I’ll royally fuck up my kids. I try to do my best and have the most patience and take stuff away or put them in time out as a consequence because god knows I don’t want to hit them but they still need a consequence for misbehaving and then lo and behold here’s how that’ll fuck them up for life, too. Everyone complains though "my mum took away my iPad" is better than "my mum whacked me upside the head with my iPad". You're doing great. Don't let others opinions put you down. Most people giving you advice here clearly don't have kids considering some of the "advice" your given. You won't royally fuck up if you care. Things might happen outside your control but if your genuinely wanting the best for your kid and your open to learning the best way, you won't fuck up. I know that because my kids yearly bring up the bag on lentils that was one of my lowest points as a parent. They laugh about it. I still die a little bit. But they laugh. Any punishment can be used wrongly. It sounds like U/bigbysemotivefinger 's dad took confescating things way too far. Be fair. Own your mistakes. Forgive yourself.

Idk if this helps since I never had a kid before, but in my psychology class, we learned about the different types of parenting styles. Basically authoritarian parenting is really demanding but unresponsive to the child’s needs, permissive parenting is uncontrolling (it can either be downright neglectful or just be like mine where they aren’t strict), and authoritative is demanding but flexible. Of course there’s other factors that come into play, so take what I say with a grain of salt, but the stats say that the best way to parent is to make sure you’re in control but allow to hear your child out and let your child know that your punishment can change if it’s unfair, and also to make sure to address your child’s needs and let them know you still consider and validate their feelings.

Gonna be honest here as someone who had parents take away what matters most to me as a threat, I wanna say, try to make the punishment consistent and aim for things that may not mean the world to them. Sometimes it’s okay to, but sometimes it’s extremely unnecessary. This way it doesn’t feel like a direct attack on them, but rather an action they did that wasn’t right. I think that’s what separates between good punishments and bad punishments. Your kid just needs to learn a lesson, you don’t need to go after things that sting the most. Also, it depends on each kid, but for me I had trouble learning after the first time I did it unless I know it directly harms others. I would constantly repeat the same mistakes accidentally out of forgetfulness and each time my parents would make the punishment worse. Don’t do that and be patient with them. Not saying to forgive them but at least validate how they feel. Oh also don’t make everything about how they make you feel. Had to unlearn a lot of guilt cause of the guilt tripping.

Tl;dr be in control but also remember your child is still a person and isn’t as dumb as you think. Acknowledge their feelings and give them the emotional support they need but still do what needs to be done. Keep punishments consistent and reasonable and don’t always go for what means the most to them cause then it just comes off as a personal attack rather than a punishment. And don’t be a d*ck to your kids

I think it comes down to treating them like people. All of these things that are like "how can I cause them to suffer until they replace their own will with mine?" miss the point.

Recognize that other people are other people. Talk to them. Figure out why they are how they are. Somebody else in this thread talked about finding other ways to meet their emotional needs, and that's a right step, I think.

#watch #ufc #mma

3 years ago in #news by metivim (46)

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Follow some rules for using Spotify

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