Domestic Violence

Domestic violence, sometimes called domestic abuse, is reaching epidemic proportions and affects men, women and children of all races and social and economic levels. In order to stem the tide of domestic abuse we have to not only stop the abuse and protect the victims, we also have to understand what triggers the abuse so that the next generation of families can learn to live abuse-free.

However, there are some things that you can do to help...

1.Talk to the person you think is being abused, but only when her partner is not around. Approach her in a non-blaming, non-judgmental, and understanding way. Tell her she is not alone and that there are many women like her in similar situations.

2.Offer to be helpful. Ask what would be helpful to them. A victim/survivor is in the best position to judge her needs especially from a safety standpoint. Her decisions should be her own.

3.Say things like “I am worried about you and your safety” or “I’m concerned about the safety of your children.” If the person does not respond or minimizes your concern, respect it in the moment. But try again a few days or weeks later.

4.Use supportive language.

5.Offer to listen.

6.Don’t say bad things about the abusive person. Don’t lament that she got involved with this person. This “blames the victim.”

7.Remind the person that they deserve to be happy and healthy in their relationship.

8.Don’t say, “I would leave the relationship if I was in your situation.

9.Remind the person that no one should treat them in a hurtful manner, and they deserve to be treated well. Tell them domestic violence is a crime.

10.Stay in her life by being supportive and by creating a safe space for her to talk about her situation.

This post is geared toward women because the majority of domestic violence is perpetrated against women. However, it is important to emphasize that violence happens to others as well and is equally unacceptable.

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