I Wish I Knew What Parenting was Really Like Before I Decided to Have a Child
My husband and I have one child. A two-year-old girl, and while I can honestly say that I love her, I really hate being a mom. I will admit this is better than when she was brand new, but I still hate it. I hate the immense responsibility; I hate that all she wants is me a lot of the time. I do my best to be a good mom. We spend a lot of time together since I am a mostly stay at home mom, not by choice, and it may be changing soon, hopefully. We play, I had to her, we spend a lot of time outside. I try and teach her stuff and really be present. But I hate it. I look forward to her going for her naps, I can’t wait until she goes to bed at night so that I can have time away from her.
I wish I knew what it would actually like to be a parent before I decided to get pregnant. I miss my old life. I miss just going out; I miss being able to pick up shifts at work whenever we don’t have to worry about child care. I miss being able to be spontaneous with my husband.
I hear it gets better, and it has to an extent. My friends all comment on how sad they are that their kids are growing up, but I haven’t felt one pang of sadness about mine growing up. I relish each additional piece of independence she gains.
We are not having any more children. In large part, due to my realizing that I actually hate motherhood, I think this is the best decision. I would actually go crazy if we had another. Thankfully my husband is on board with this. But I see people getting pregnant and having their second and third kids, and I wonder what I’m doing so wrong and why I hate it so much.
I’m not sure what I hope to get out of this post. I guess I’m hoping I’m not the only one who regrets becoming a parent and some reassurance that it will get much better.
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What Baby Books Don’t Tell You
I used to know everything about child-rearing, and if I didn’t know something, I could form an opinion on the spot. How I missed those days once I actually had children! My sons are young men now, but I was thinking about those early days, and I thought I would share some random but useful information that I don’t recall being highlighted in the baby books.
Disclaimer: This article is not intended to replace the advice of your pediatrician, mother, sister, aunt, or neighbor who happens to be a nurse.
After I had my sons, I was humbled on a daily basis, just hoping I would make the right decisions.
Firstly, though, perhaps you have wondered whether you are old/mature enough to be a parent. While there is no easy answer to this, if you answer “yes” to two of the following three questions, you are almost certainly ready. …
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