Public Utilities are SOOO Innovative and Reliable

Everyone who's compassionate and doesn't hate humanity thinks that the internet should be considered a public utility.

It's because you're a good person. That's why you should want this. Don't mind the fact that public water utilities poison children and the public electric utilities have a grid that is super vulnerable to mass blackouts.

They're so reliable and they've innovated so much in the past 100 years it only stands to reason that classifying the internet as a utility is the best thing to do if you care about the poor at all.