I hate nerds

Being a nerd is hard. Not because your entire life is stereotyped, but simply because if you don’t follow the geek etiquette, you’re just plain weird.

You are all about developing things using a computer and various devices? You’ve got to be a gamer, have small shoulders, a face full of pimples, you’ve gotta smell weird, eat chips and drink Mountain Dew (I swear this is not product placement). Am I right?

This is pretty much how most people picture tech girls and guys, and it’s not that surprising. I mean, there is still racism, misogyny and homophobia in 2016.

Guess what

I’ve always been pretty socially awkward as a kid. I didn’t get to hang out with people during lunch break because I would instead have lunch with my mother at her place which was at walking distance from school. Can’t blame her for anything though, she’s always been there.

Needless to say I didn’t really realize the chance I had back then. I had two friends. Both lived close to my place, and I would get to see them everyday since we attended the same school.

Grade school was pretty much about hanging out with them since my parents made sure I had it really easy in school by teaching me math at a younger age. School was a piece of cake. And for making friends, this is not a good thing– at all. This is not like University where everyone wants to be your friend if you’re good because they’re assured to have good grades by partnering up with you. Enough about my tiny self.

Being not so bad at something means having a hard time

Not sure why, but having bad grades made you a tough, hardcore kid. All the cool kids got terrible grades in pretty much all subjects, and that made them school-famous. For some reason, these girls and guys would be great at student-to-class relationships also referred as charisma, coolness.

Now, finding a correlation between sucking at school and being charismatic is straight, tagged racism. The question is more about what happens to other people inside the same micro-society.

The public is the same, with different reactions

You’re quietly listening to your teacher talking about the verb “to be”, and are pretty tired of hearing the differences between “your” and “you’re”. At that very moment, Carl lets the World know what he’s been hiding in his belly for the past 2 hours.

*prrrrttttttt*

Carl is known to be the school’s toughest kid. What happens next? Everybody laughs at Carl’s fart. Not at him, but at his newly released mix of methane and other gazes produced by all the processed food his parents have been feeding him for the past 9 years. Oh, Carl. Imagine being the school’s nerd and releasing even a tenth of the same gaz. Instant humiliation, probably led by Carl and the cool kids. Congratulations, you’ve acquired a new title : fart face.

Do NOT interfere

You’re sitting there, storing all the insults thrown at you in your insult pouch that will soon overflow. Other people are watching and laughing instead of defending you, even the other nerdy kids.

Truth is these people are proving to the cool kids they belong with them, and that they shouldn’t get picked on because they also laugh at fart face, you. Passing the cool kids’ test is pretty hard since you’ve got to not be yourself, and there are a handful of things you could do to yourself that are more hurtful. Got the cool kids’ approval? Well, that’s great! Make sure to not reveal your A+ and to laugh at Terence who cried because he received a dodgeball up his fart cheeks during Phys. Ed.

Brocoli

I’ve been wondering why kids work so hard on trying to hate veggies and baths, also going to bed. As a kid, being different without being tough is so, so difficult. I mean, if the cool kids dictate that eating vegetables is stupid, then you’re stupid, and that’s about it.

A part of me really does not want to refer to politics on this one. Winky wink. As you grow up, you begin to realize that taking punches made you a lot stronger than those who do the punching, but you’re still a nerd, and that’s not what society wants.

Tearing apart the etiquette

More and more people believe that nerds will be nerds, and that they should accept it. This is probably one of the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard after Donald Trump’s “Make America Great Again” catchphrase. Oops, that’s right, we’ve agreed on no politics. Moving on. A nerd is not a nerd.

Yes, I am terribly cyber-butthurt, so there goes the truth.

I am what humanity pejoratively calls a nerd

One of the many who train at the gym 4 to 5 times a week, who run 10km once in a while, who have friends, who are not shy to speak up. Most programmers I know eat well, take care of their physical appearance, and– smell good? Yes! My friends smell good, imagine that. One of the many that don’t talk about Node.JS and C++ when there are people around who are not interested, one of the many who are not stalkers, so called weirdos and freaks. One of the many that are not gamers, anime fan or cosplayers (you guys are absolutely amazing <3).

One of the many that are living on the same space-traveling rock.

So be yourself before I split your fart face in half

And to all the bullies I just ironically cyber-bullied, I say thank you for showing me how to become a better person as well as a sarcastic asshole. If you ever need a job, I’ll be glad to delete your emails.

Best regards,

Fartface, xoxo.