My letter I wrote my neighbour before I left

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                                Enough With Your Booming Sound-proofing and Loud Hedge
                            
        Dear Mrs Wilson,

I have always felt amused living near to you. You are the most cool neighbour a person could ever meet.

Therefore, you must understand how difficult it has been for me to approach you with this matter.

I'm afraid I can no longer stand your smelly gerbils.

I lay in bed last night, trying to sleep, and all I could think about was how your sound-proofing is too booming and your hedge way too loud. I had a nightmare that you burst in through the window brandishing a dog collar

I have to insist that you take action to stop your smelly gerbils from upsetting me. I demand that you give up drum playing then sell the dog.

And while we're on the matter, I'm finding your barking dog increasingly inexcusable. This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from somebody living in a happy neighbourhood like Little Oaks.

If you don't rectify the situation I shall have no choice but to call the police and post photos of your smelly gerbils on Instagram.

Furthermore, I have close ties with the mafia and I won't be be afraid to cash in a few favours if you don't comply with my demands.

Thanks
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