That time I tried to connect with nature.

I grew up in the country but now live in an apartment in the city. Wouldn't it be a great to be around some nature? I could hear the sound of birds in the trees down the street every morning, and thought it would be much better if they came to my balcony instead.

I devised a cunning plan. I would buy a bird attractor! No self-respecting parrot can resist food:

Yeah well, the stupid thing hung there for a month before it finally snapped. Not a peck out of it. Never liked birds anyway, noisy creatures.