HOW TO OVERCOME THE TRAUMA OF HAVING NARCISSISTIC PARENTS

HOW TO OVERCOME THE TRAUMA OF HAVING NARCISSISTIC PARENTS

Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by a self-centered and arrogant pattern of thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for praise. Others often describe people with NPD as arrogant, manipulative, selfish, protective, and demanding. This way of thinking and behaving in all areas of the narcissist's life: from work and friendship to family and love relationships.

Healing of a narcissistic parent.
Treatments can be discussed in the will the following:

1.Educate yourself.
Whether it's through books or through professional help, you'll probably need to start learning what self-defense is, how it can manifest itself in parenting, and what its possible implications are. The first step in any healing process is becoming aware of what it is, and I find that psych education about narcissists can be deeply enlightening as you begin to understand your past.

2.Face your personal history of trauma and neglect.
I highly recommend working with a therapist or other trained professional as you begin to remember, speak, and understand your past. And keep in mind, if you have memory gaps or questions, you don't necessarily need to look to your family of origin for an accurate reflection of your personal history. They may be unwilling or unable to validate your personal history based on your own trauma with the narcissist.

3.Pain for what you didn't get.
Essentially, you have to grieve for what you didn't get, as you educate yourself and face your past, which was, essentially, an opportunity to have a child. This grieving process can take a long time, it can seem endless at times, but it is so valid and necessary to your healing process.

4.Work on development milestones that you may not have achieved.
Often, as children of narcissists, we do not have the opportunity to be children or adolescents fully with our own identities, needs, wants, and preferences. We may have missed certain developmental milestones, such as lifestyle experimentation, dating, or even pursuing the education or career we wanted due to the effects of psychologically unhealthy parenting. Therefore, starting to work on developmental milestones along with your personal history of confrontation and grief is part of your healing work.

5.Set limits.
Either the narcissist who is still in your life or the one you are most accommodating and accommodating to. Learning what healthy boundaries are and how to establish them with others is important for people recovering from a narcissistic parent.

6.Look for healthier and more functional relationships.
At first, it may seem difficult, if not impossible, to identify them, and you may not believe in yourself that you can really incorporate these types of relationships into your personal life. He's fine. Start with your relationship with your therapist (a trained professional whose job it is to show you in a healthy and functional way) and allow him to help you show you what is possible in a healthy relationship. Over time, this can affect who you are attracted to in your personal life.
Focus your healing and recovery work on developing a more harmonious and stable sense of yourself. For most adult children of narcissists, our main healing task revolves around developing a more cohesive and stable sense of self, learning to love ourselves, and value ourselves for who we are, not who we think we should be. The "acceptance" should win. A bad sense of self can affect all areas of our lives, from our physical and mental health to our relationships, our career advancement, it can even affect your bank account.
Therefore, focusing your work with your therapist and developing a more cohesive and stable sense of yourself can be a great way to focus your healing work.

7.Identity.
Some abusive, painful, and neglectful behaviors on the part of narcissistic parents are evident in their children. Abuse for a child can be physical (restraint, aggression), mental (gaslight, silent treatment), verbal (angry, questioning), emotional (silence, guilt), financial (neglect, giftedness), spiritual (two-way thinking) . legalism) and sexual (harassment, insults). Not all events require trauma therapy, but some of them may occur depending on the frequency and severity.

8.Forgiveness.
The past cannot be changed, it can only be understood. When forgiveness is genuine, it has a powerful transformative effect. Remember, forgiveness is for the forgiver, not the offender. It is better to sincerely forgive in small pieces at a time than to give a full apology. This results in other past or future transgressions being made and fully acted upon. Don't force this step, do it at a comfortable pace so that the benefits last for life.

NOTE
If you don't let them go and forgive your parents, at the end of the day, narcissistic parents likely develop this way because they were framed by their parents.