Blind Date experience: Naijapidgin contest

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sake of say I no too good for dating experience, na im I come charge my self say make I be small to been dea entertaining and say make I be the amusing type of peson: na I'm make me they plan the blind date small small. first of all (go down low), I been no dea believe say I fit do this blind date thin. because I get friends wey they run all these dating sites and the ability to them base for the dating game 24/7.the impression of blindly dating dea somehow useless to me. so, na so I dea waka upandan (up and down), meet my nigga dem make them for teach Me how I go waka. u no go believe say, when I start the game I nearly kill myseff by myseff for myseff
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the day just be like yesterday for my eye. I dea curious with the bombshell, I don tire from work. as I reach my yard , I dea dance wizkid-come_closer alone for my bedroom. na so I remembered say i been get appointment o with this chick. I rush open the door rush go shower, this attitude surprise my mummy, "she com dey wonder say, wetin do me dea hurry like this“ i rush fo sneak my brother perfume, just say make I smell nice, still borrow my brother new shoe to impress the angel now. as I dress finish, now na to dea go. I remember say I no get handkerchief. my neighbour get plenty and she dey wash her cloth outside, a day before, she beg me money I no give her, so me don already know say she no go borrow me handkerchief seff. as I see as she dry cloth for wire, na im I say make I sneak one handkerchief from the wire I no know say na her pant I carry put for pocket instead of handkerchief. as i waka form big boy for street reach busstop, before i remember say make i call this chick, una believe say her number no go again, chaiiiii, i wan die...i call call call, sotey, i tire, i just sidon for bustop like beggar, hopelessly, I com dea remember dea meditate picture wey the girl dea post some hours later na so i try am again, the number go one time, the girl beg me say make i no vex say make i dea come the venue wey we choose. I smile again, I take bike fire down go the place. as I reach ehn, I see one girl dea make call, the girl na dwarf, I think say na she me dea follow talk all this while o, but my people, na set** i shout OMG, me??? date dwarf??? my mummy must not hear this, na so I commot my pantkerchief take cover my face make the dwarf for no see me, unfortunately na pant,but me no know, my mind don full. na so i use pant cover my face o for public, Naija peope, woooked pipu, instead wey dem go tell me, dem think say i be mad man,* them dea laugh come dea snap me picture, i no quick understand the parole, before I know, ehn, time don go, na madam dwarf come meet me come ask say na me be Francis? I say no, i come tha k God say,no be dwarf be my chickz thank God ooo... na there I uncover my face come see say na pantkerchief say no be handkerchief, the pant big well well because chioma the pant owner na very fat girl. chai... (see my life in the party)(Yoruba slang) I come sitdon dea wait.
source na so message enter my phone (Sorry, I’ll be 20 minutes late.”) 30minutes and plenty New guy episodes and scene don happen, later, she show face. Finally. After awkwardly she see me, she smile, mhen damn it, she be Angel, she package, but me seff no look bad na, mr .... she said, I shuk my hand out and introduced myself. i dea happy die say.... i dea lucky but i no know say na calamity I carry after we don yarn torey small, I ask her say wetin she want make I buy for her, hmmmmm na there wahala start o.
she say make I allow her make order by her seff say na me go pay... my people, me wey be say pocket dry na only #3,000 dea my pocket, i say no problem make she order anything, me don feel say she no go buy pass 2k. as she order finish na, she come back come sitdown. as the attendant bring wetin she order come table, I wan run mad. una believe say this girl order 3chicken and 2 bottles of McDowell and one big pizza, for only she ooo untop my head and na 3k dea my pocket, my people, heat start to dea catch me from head to toe, wetin I go do ooo, waiter bring bill say na 27k be the money. I wan faint.
I come they plan escape plan because na wetin go for help me be that. this girl they chop dea go, na I'm I tell am say I wan go make my own order seff say I dea come, she say OK, as i dea waka dea go na I'm she call me back, my mind cut, I think say she don catch my scope, na I'm she tell me say baby get one more chicken for me when coming i shout for my mind #Jeeeesu. i say no wahala o. na so i do like say i dea go reception just do Uturn fo exit line, enter bike.... straight. na God save me say she never know my house.
my pipu, I leave her for the place o make she bail her self out from the mess, after all na only she chop am I no follow chop inside, I believe say she go use her android worth 50k take bail her self,
as I reach house, I block her permanently for FB, put her phone number for blacklist. na so I escape ooo
abeg make una put mouth, wetin I do bad???

Second date? Nah. I don learn say icecream no be Kulikuli, meaning!!... Chase your dream before you chase woman. Na my message for una be dat
@princefizzy
@africa boy