So, when is it appropriate to the use the N word?

So, when is it appropriate to the use the N word?

It seems that many racial flare-ups in the school district and the work environments often include who can and can’t use the N word. After reading a variety of articles, blog posts, etc. about the use of the N word, I decided to share my thoughts on the issue.

For the uninitiated, the N words ending with an “a” is meant to be a term of endearment, an extension of friendship, an affectionate greeting, a brotherly embrace, etc. When the word is used and ends with an “er” it is seen as hostile and derogatory. I won’t go into more detail about the difference as to when the word ends with an “a” or “er.” This is a dissertation all by itself.

Many blacks have convinced themselves that using the word within the black community and to address friends across racial lines is quite fine. It is a way of connecting with each other in an expression of a common struggle. This was made possible by Paul Mooney, Richard Pryor, and NWA. It was under the guise to take the sting out of the word. The time had come for black people to own the word. To me, the real motive was to make lots of money as in Vince Staple’s lyrics, “I was up late night ballin’ Countin up hundreds by the thousands.” Over the years, many black rap artists have earned lots of dollars using the N word liberally in their songs.

On the other hand, when whites use the word it is a different ball game. One only has to listen to the recent release of the "I Am Not Racist" mega-hit by Joyner Lucas to see how different views are taken when a white or black person uses the N word. There are a number of YouTube videos on this very topic.

I accept that within the black community the word is NOT often used to incite or demean, hence the easy usage and acceptance. One only has to look at The Boondocks to see how the N word is used and by whom within the black community. This show was meant to be educational, but I have my doubts about it.

Now, since the intent of the message is unknown when whites or non blacks use the word it takes on a completely different meaning. This being the case the word is the same, but the meaning can be very different. This is where the "message is in the medium" becomes important.

Here is a simple example. If a man without legs in a wheel chair who is in the park says to me, upon making eye contact, "I am going to get up and beat you to a pulp", I will, upon some consideration dismiss this as noise. However, if a muscular able-bodied looking man is sitting on a park bench says the same thing, I will see it differently. It is the same set of words, but different interpretation.

Since the message is in the medium and there is no reason for non blacks to use the word, I would recommend discontinuing its use. I would also recommend that blacks discontinue using the word as well. This will require a sea change since it is so endemic within the black lexicon and belief system.

The argument about fairness does not apply in this case. It isn't as simple as, since blacks use the word whites should be able to use the word. This argument lacks any iota of critical depth. I believe when whites use the word most know exactly what they intend. The argument is a smoke screen.

If the message is in the receiver, then it is the receiver who decides if language is racist or not.
Often times when blacks use the N word with other blacks there is no racist perception or intent. However, when non blacks use the word the black receiver often perceives it to be racist.

So, racist language or a hostile environment is not a word. It is the perception of the receiver that determines if it is racist, thus hostile. This is why this language thing seems complicated. It is filled with nuances.
To me, this apparent duality and complexity is pretty simple to understand.

This is similar to when some young women use the B word affectionately to refer to self and female friends. As in, "What's up B? This B did this all by herself. This B is partying this weekend. Hey B, wanna borrow me $20?”
Now, if men use the word it could easily be seen as hostile and sexist.

Another argument is color shouldn’t matter and we must not take color into consideration when dealing with racial issues. Race and color are so much a part of American life, I believe we all need to see color and race since they are so influential in how one sees and experiences life.

Not seeing race or color is a denial that racism exists. The same applies to gender, etc. When I interact with people, I take into consideration their gender may be an important part of how they see and experience life. Women are more conscious than men about the role of gender. To deny gender of a person is to deny sexism exists.

Note: I do think the N word whether ending with an “a” or an “er” has a vile history and should not be used by anyone regardless of race. Similarly, I also believe the B word should not be used by women as a term of endearment.

Dr. Raj Beekie is an associate professor. His areas of interest include leadership development, diversity, emotional intelligence, change management, and communication.

Whether one agrees or disagrees with the thoughts and ideas expressed, he hopes they provide a broader foundation for discussion. Dr. Beekie received his bachelor's degree in Business Administration and Organizational Communication from Concordia College, Moorhead, MN, master's degree in Intercultural Communication from North Dakota State University, Fargo, ND, and doctorate in Organization Development from the University of St. Thomas, Minneapolis, MN.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/rajbeekie