My Bad Poetry Contest #1 | Blasphemy

My Bad Poetry Contest #1

First Prize: 2 SBD
Runner-Up: 1 SBD

I've been winning a little SBD playing poker on Lucksacks (come play sometime, I'm RTB) and wanted to give back a bit in a way that ties in with poetry. (Shout out to @robyneggs and @rensoul17 for the inspiration)

As you may know, I am in the process of rewriting poems to promote raising money for asd research. I think this poem is particularly bad--too bad for me to touch ever again, so I'm handing it over to the poets of Steemit.

Write a poem based on this atrocity published by me in The Colour Grey. The rules are flexible but it must be based on Blasphemy (below). Your poem can be a rewrite, borrow lines or language from it, or just share a similar theme. It does not have to rhyme.

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• Tag your entry with mybadpoetry first
• Leave a comment with your entry below
• Deadline is Monday, February 26th at 20:00 EST.

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Blasphemy

I am proud of myself, all glory to me!
But I do it for me, not for you, us, or we
Now I may not show much humility
When it comes to all of my abilities
Like I'm smart, like I'm kind, my hilarity
And I don't often use much profanity
But goddammit! Geez! I'm so damn sexy!
And when people sneeze they should all just bless me

Al-hamdu lillahi! Oh lord have mercy!
And I don't mean that paradoxically
I mean, how do you even know this is me?
I mean, can you prove it empirically?
Then again I'm too great for your eyes to see
Well how about scientifically?
Mathematically or grammatically?
But oh yeah, I'm the one in control of these
I! can: put? punctuation; where, (it) “cannot” be
Illogically to you, but looks logical to me

You should always take me seriously
As I rarely say things sarcastically
And I came up with a thought fantastically
That everyone should change so drastically
To greater resemble the almighty me
And I'm sure you'd do it enthusiastically
But now that I think about it more clearly
I don't think that's how I want you to be
Because wouldn't that be blasphemy?
I'll check on that with the trinity

Oh, who are they? Their my best buddies
We started this club for divinities
We're Alpha, Omega, and Infinity
But I'm surely the best one of the three
Oh hell! Who cares if they agree
I do say that it's blasphemy
So if you like it or not just keep praising me
Tell me I'm above humanity
Sing: “You're the most glorious entity!”
My vanity keeps my insanity

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The Colour Grey available here as ePub, in paperback, or from Amazon here as an ebook.