Celebrating Small Achievements

I've had plenty of failure in 2018. Some of it actually happened. Most of it has been a long slow process of over-committing myself, under-executing my ideas, and many small opportunities to let myself or others down. It's hard to look at in the kind of way that would allow me to focus, learn and make changes. It feels more like staring wide eyed into the abyss.

_{Inspirational Photo, Courtesy Inspirobot}

Perhaps this contest by @blocktrades will help me find insight.

I resist daily routines. That statement does not even align with my nature, but it has been true of me lately. I've been living a double life trying to manage both a part time job and a business, triple if you consider I actually try to spend time with my family when I can. I resist doing the kind of planning and self-auditing required to make all this work. I resist the little follow-throughs that would keep me on track, or at least allow me to course correct before it's too late. Too often I allow myself to escape what I know I need to do, because I don't want to. Because I feel like there is no time. Because I'm tired and I can't focus.

Other than traveling to California for an amazing Aikido trip this year, I cannot say I've met any of my big goals for the year. In fact, I don't think my other goals were any good. I might have a vision of where I want to go, but my goals for 2018 lacked the clear action standards I would have messed to avoid abandoning them mid year, as I have done.

So now, mid-way through a December that I never even wrote into my planner, I am celebrating small victories. In October I began an arduous process of catching up overdue documentation at work, while re-establishing the habit of documenting my sessions on time each day. The overdue work is now done, and for at least three weeks I've managed an (almost) daily habit of documentation. Both yesterday and today, I managed to suspend feelings that I did not want to do my notes and did not have time, and just got them done anyway.

The dojo is still open, despite my frequent fears that the business will not make it. The students are learning and enjoying classes. I have not figured out quite what is the dojo's equivalent of the notes I avoid and procrastinate on, but it has something to do with the organization and management required to coordinate a team.

I've made several hundred dollars writing between Medium and Steemit, and I've learned quite a fair bit about trading, which I never really did before this year. Something about crypto, and Steemit in particular, has encouraged me to do incremental saving at a time when it's most temping to avoid it, because my income is the lowest it's ever been.

For 2019, I want to get real with the daily application of my goals. Just as I did with my documenting habits, I want to be able to celebrate the small daily habit and recognize and reward myself for digging out of the hole, as well.

Perhaps next week's contest will address goals. Goodness knows I need to do it!