My 2018 - This is my Hobby: Reading

I would like to say that reading is my hobby but the truth is that it is my obsession. I would like to say that I love reading but the truth is that I have come to hate it. I would like to say that reading is my passion but the truth is that it has turned into a desire.  

I do not know when I started reading although my first memory is when I was four. It was a (14+ years rated) detective comics and it remained around my house into my teenage years, until it got lost while we were changing homes.  

Sometimes when I am alone with a book in a room, I keep looking at it for a long time without opening it because I know that once I do my life will depend on how fast I could finish it. Then, when I am about to finish it, I would take a break. Only because I know that the book is about to end and my nest fix is not at hand. I am a junkie - I want my next fix now and I want my next high to be higher than my previous.  

As a habit, reading is very easy to fulfill. You don’t have to buy every book, just borrow, issue it from a library or just tell the name of the book you want to the next person who asks you about your next birthday gift. Only thing a book asks of you is the most precious of them all – Time. Here are a few fun personal stats: 

Longest reading stint: 31 hours 

Longest reading stint (broken only by sleep and food): 8 straight weeks 

Most books read in one go: 4 + ¼ 

Most re-read (non-religious text): Harry Potter and the philosophers stone (15 to 20 reads) 

My most memorable author: R.L Stine and Enid Blyton

Favorite author: between different languages and so many authors I have not been able to decide. I know if I choose one then I would read him/her again and then say that it’s not their best work. 

Total number of books read: I sat down to count in 2016 and I reached around 4,200 when I stopped counting. I think we can safely add a thousand more to it. 

I think you get the basic idea that I have a problem and it is called reading. I do not read to enjoy; I basically do everything else so I can finish it and then sit down to just read again. It is a compulsion that I OD’ed on in the early 2017. I read for eight weeks straight without taking a break and then I just crashed and burned for the first time in my life of thirty years. 

I had to struggle for three months to finish another book. I would start reading and then would lose interest only to start a new one and quit it again ………… ad nauseam. It was more than a little disturbing and for the first time in my life I thought about seeking professional psychological help. But before that could happen I ran a little experiment.  

I started the next book and when it became boring and stopped being fun – I started to write it the way I wanted it to be instead of dropping it. Few pages soon turned into a novel, which still sits in my laptop, un-read by another soul but me. In case you were wondering I can tell you that I have read my own novel several times. I do this not because I like my own work a little too much, but because it reminds me that how much I love reading and want it to be there as part of my life even if I hate it a little. I lost my desire to read once and I do not want it to happen again.  

After that I have learned my lesson. I go out a little more now and try having fun where I can. Meet people and try to talk to them more than just for a few seconds. I must admit I have come to enjoy the company of people more than I used to.  

During my school years I was a closet nerd. Reading books was something I actively hid from others and my family. The thing was that even at that time I did not merely enjoy reading books; I lived them when I read them. The feeling of reading a book was too strong for me too express in words. I had no way of expressing my passion for books to another person and it just made the problem worse. 

The more I read, more I came to the conclusion that………f*** them, f*** them all. They don’t know shit from Shinola and I am obviously better than them. Worse part came when I my attraction to girls became more prominent. I would talk to them and be mean to them without letting them know that I didn’t consider their opinions worth shit. My mean was not a right on mean (my family at least raised me right that way), my mean was sneaky mean.  

Thankfully that didn’t last longer than the start of the high school. Probably because I transferred to an all-boys school where guys were mean as f*** and you had to be on your toes or fall down face first into the pit of social hierarchy. Not surprisingly, tough guy demeanour and reading books didn’t go hand in hand. Although I found it very interesting that being the tough guy meant not just basic muscling around but letting them know that you were more intelligent than the rest around you. Once that was established not many will face you off. Once those do……….well let’s just say that it’s easier to tackle two guys than ten. 

This also didn’t last long. After a year of being a goon I had my little reputation established, which basically meant that I could fall back into my old ways without any or very little social blowback. Yes you guessed right – I put my nerd right back on. This time it was more open though. I had drawn blood in the school yard and the street and now I could be more open of my idiosyncrasies. Surprisingly enough the guys received me well and yes the chicks dig a nerd with a mean right hook. 

University was a blur of scientific journals and longer than longest literature reviews. It was there I picked most of my scientific book reading quota. I am a scientific researcher, so I get to read a lot in the way of research material. I am also a part time entrepreneur, which again requires a quite some time dedicated to reading to at least be able to do my due diligence before investing.  

When all is said and done, I have come to hate reading only because I love it so much. I am obsessed with it because few things around me are as attractive as delving into human imagination. My passion for reading is actually a zeal for learning and desire for it is a little too intense in me.  Is reading my hobby………..Yes it is. 

What else can I say? 

PS: This is my way of explaining to an outer space alien that reading is my hobby.