“My 2017: Achievements and Failures”

It has been my yearly routine to do a recap on how my year went. I usually do my reflection before the year ends. However, the other day, I came across @anomadsoul’s contest to write about ”My 2017: Achievements and Failures”. Upon reading this week’s topic, I paused for a few sec, and smiled in amusement. Hmm. This is gonna be interesting.

Two words that left me speechless. Its like making a report on what accomplishments I made this year. At the same time, an evaluation on the gaps or the challenges I may have faced. It needs an in depth questioning and an open mind to accept one’s weaknesses. So, I’m excited to go through my 2017 again and rethink where did I fail.

Perhaps, most of us don’t want to embrace that word fully, and accepting that we have failed is very challenging.

I’d like to start with my failures.

I’d say one of my greatest failure for this year is acceptance.

I lost my passion with making a difference and I’ve come to slowly accept that the system’s always gonna be shitty, people are always gonna be selfish and there are things I can never change no matter how much I try.

I have failed to keep on trying. I have been so distant with people because I’m finding it hard to see their good side when all I see are greediness, laziness and selfishness.

People only care about themselves. All they care is money and on how they can benefit more. I see corruption in any form. I’m not talking about politicians or those who holds higher position. These are normal citizen’s who do it like its no big deal. They might be doing this out of desperation. I don’t know. But no matter what excuses they may have, it still not acceptable in any way.

I have failed because deep down, I know I have given up in trying to make a change. I lost that burning fire within me. An unstoppable will to make things on how they’re suppose to be.

I have failed because everytime I see something that’s not right, I’ll shrug it off and ignore it.

I have accepted the fact that there is 1 in a million ratio of people who would think of others first. A one in a million ratio of people who wants to make this world a better place.

Right now I’m failing to understand people, and see beyond their ugly side. Before, I’ve always believed that no matter how evil people may seem, they always have that goodness within them and we just have to find it. I believed that if you show them kindness, eventually you will bring out that goodness that has been hidden within because of what they’ve been through with life. I believed that man are not naturally evil. These are by products of the experiences they had, so they have appeared to become cold hearted.

Perhaps, I was wrong all this time.

Working in public health has never crossed my mind before. But I’d like to think that the roads has been cleared so I would take this path. I believe, I am here for a reason. I am here to fulfill something. But..

I think in one blow, one last blow and I’m gonna throw my gun, take my flag down, raise my hands and shout “I surrender”.

Mission Failed.

Hmmm. Perhaps, it would be.. not dying in the battlefield. 😅

Its about surviving despite losing the war.

True enough, we are the sum of what we’ve been through and the people we met in our lives. These people will leave a significant lesson and would affect on how we view the world. Its really wise to surround yourself with people who brings out the best, not the beast in you.

I have achieved to care less. (I don’t know if that’s a good thing. Haha.) The more you care, the more you get headaches. 😂

I have also learned to say NO without feeling guilty about it. And I think that’s an achievement. I have always been the kind of girl on the work place who’s just okay with everything. I’ve worked so hard for my job because I love doing it. I love to see things getting in place. I love helping others. I love doing favors for other people. I always try to accomplish things whatever it takes, simply because I love what I do. It makes me happy to see people being pleased because I did something for them. I admit I’m a people pleaser. Guess what? I’m not anymore. And that’s an incredible achievement on my part.

My next goal would be, I should learn how to become less idealistic. Hahaha!

I am seriously not fun to be around right now. I have lots of complains about the world, and most especially on the people I work with.

I’m trying to find ways to overcome them. It may take some time.

For now, I’ve closed my door and became so selective with people, so they won’t have to keep disappointing me. (char)

I’m taking Ampalaya Pills by the way, you might be curious on why I am so bitter with everything Hahaha.

Gawd. I truly missed blogging! This has been my outlet during college, and now I’m back bitches! Haha.

This has been nice. I had fun writing this and just let it all out. No restrictions. I can just literally say anything I want. Perhaps, I should include in the tags freewrite and post this as an entry for that rant contest hosted by @steemitbc.

I’m excited to read other people’s achievements and failures as well. I love diversities and knowing how people think. (Also it would be nice if @anomadsoul would write about his achievements and failures too)

I am so curious with the next topic. I’m kinda scared on what questions I will be facing but I’m excited to evaluate myself and answer them. My apology if I wasn’t able to convey a positive vibes on this post.

I’ll try to overcome them. I won’t let the world make me rough. Maybe, I’ll just take a rest for now, because its draining all my energy, but I promise I’ll be back, this time equipped with the lessons of the past - stronger, fiercer and unstoppable.