I can only think of one time that a surprise of mine didn't work out so well.

In a little over a week, my wife and I will be married for 30 years.

Close to ten years ago, (so we'd been married at least 20 years by now), I wanted to do something special for her.

There's a rather nice hotel on the coast within an hour and a half drive from where we lived. Both of us had remarked that we'd like to stay there one day as we driven by it a few times on other trips. It would most likely be expensive, but since it sat on a private beach and every room faced the ocean with floor to ceiling windows, it would have a view most hotels didn't. It would be a singular experience.

Well, despite talking about it, it never happened. Rooms start at around $200 and go from there. It just seemed to be too much of an expense.

Somehow, this particular time I discovered that the hotel was discounting their rooms, which put them into the lower $100 range, like $125-$150 a night. Still more than what we would normally try to spend, but considerably cheaper than regular price.

Without telling my wife, I decided to buy the tickets. I think it was for two nights, so somewhere between $250-$300. Because of the discount, the reservations were non-refundable. I figured she would be delighted to go, so didn't think anything about it.

Well, the time came to tell her. I think it was the day before. When I did, she wasn't happy at all, but upset. She told me she didn't want to go. I told her they were on sale, that I has still spend x amount, and that they were non-refundable. We'd just lose that money.

For the first time in our marriage, she didn't care the money would be wasted. She didn't want to go. I told her we'd talked about going a few times and that I thought she would be thrilled. It was then she told me, "I'm not. I don't like surprises."

Really? I'd done other things, like brought home flowers, or even traded older cars for newer ones while she was visiting relatives to surprise her. She hadn't ever told me she didn't like surprises.

Well, we didn't go. We've still never gone. We just lost the money. I still try to surprise her now and then, mostly with a gift for Christmas or her birthday, but nothing like a trip or something like that. So far, she's not said she doesn't like surprises in those instances. I'm thinking I just caught her at a bad time. I haven't been able to muster up enough bravery to try it again. If there ever is a next time, though, if she says she doesn't want to, I'll go by myself.