Letters To Tutolin I

The day is so bright and fair - my lovely Tutolin
But there's such an excess of moments long past
That my sweat is clot thick like the wall of Berlin
As I tumble into the world lonely - and downcast

A decade of wishes - and dreams up in flames
Tutolin - I have no more hope of saving my life
So tired of being the winner at loosing games
So sick of observing heaven, like wild bird-life

Tutolin, I admit it above all things - I am afraid
Of what the color of the sky may be - tomorrow
So afraid of the many dark stories we have made
Of the plenty benighted crooked paths we follow

Cars flash past with a rhythm - my dear Tutolin
But there is so much buried deeply in my mind
Nursing home in a far city with the gloom falling
I dig rooted into emotions, hoping it's you I find

Tutolin, I am guided only by the memories of blue
Unaffected by the crowd of happiness passing by
My eyes frost hardened by the truth - missing you
Blood plopping out of nose, singing a sad lullaby.