Music- The Food For the Soul

in #music6 years ago

image
"Get out of here!,
you good for nothing boy"

Emeka ran as fast he could from his uncle who seemed like he had dined with the devil and their agreement was to bring hell closer to him. Blood dripped from his leg, his uncle's belt had decided to claim a spot on his body, he looked at his hand, they were swollen red, if only he had clapped with those hands and given glory, even God would have left his throne to be with man, but here he was, sitting on the floor just beside an abandoned umbrella he had also been beaten with.

Emeka had lost his father to the cold hands of death while on the battle ground. His father was a patriotic soldier, one who swore to die for his country. The news of his fathers death that came on April 2, 2002 still sent down shivers down his spine, It pierced more than the bullet his father had received that fateful day. Emeka had sworn that day never to be part of war as its ends were normally selfish and devastating. His mother had passed on few hours after he was born, she had told his father that his name would be Chukwuemeka, meaning God has done well. Sequel to his fathers death, his father's younger brother Francis had offered to take him to Lagos since he was the only surviving child of his late brother.

Emeka thought of the joy he had neverv felt and the bullet he never took but pierced his heart everyday.

He stopped to check around him.

“Where is it?”, he muttered.

He flung the umbrella by his side, and looked tense, like he had lost gold. He scurried to a pile of clothes that was placed around his self- acclaimed kingdom. Underneath the clothes, he found it, his gold, his treasure, he clenched it like he would a million dollar cheque, It was an earpiece attached to an mp3 player. He turned it on, and within seconds it was like his whole world had been lit up.

"Emeka! emeka!...", his uncle shouted "....Emeka! where is this boy?"

He had been carried away by the wonderful melody he was listening to. "Maybe, he has run away...", his uncle's wife said, "...please check and see if he stole any of our belongings".

His uncle, shocked hurriedly looked for Emeka at his favorite spot hoping to see him. There he was, with his eyes closed and a grin like someone that was flying without wings. "Emeka!", his uncle tapped him, Emeka was startled as he didn’t know how long he had been called or how long he had been there. "Here, get me toothbrush", his uncle ordered as he handed him the money. He watched as Emeka left feeling with a huge grin on his face. Curious as to why his nephew was happy even after a piece of hell on earth. He picked up the ear piece and listened, it was a song from one of the most inspirational singers, his ears caught a part of the verse
”...Once there is life, there is hope...”

Sort:  

Okay @photon, This is good, really good. The plot, the moral...it is great stuff.

Thank you boss, glad u liked it.

The pleasure is mine. Thanks

Really, where there is life, there is hope. I enjoyed every bit of the write-up

Thank you so much, there is more coming.

Yes oo hope is, where life is.

That's it my brother ,we are alive because of hope.

At some point, I was scared it was a true life story. Very good stuff! @photon12

Lol, you can say that.

A good short story, @photon12! You can improve it by making your sentences shorter. By using commas (,) as much as you are, you are creating run-on sentences. The usage of punctuation to create very complex sentences is a difficult skill to master. Most often, you will do better to keep your sentences shorter, and limit comma usage to one or two per sentence. More than two commas per sentence is an indication that you are probably over-using them, and should re-structure your sentence into shorter segments.

For English language skills improvement coaching I will demonstrate what I mean using your first paragraph. You can follow my suggested model, and re-write your other sentences in a similar way. By taking the time to do this throughout this short story you will gain practice and skill. You will be able to edit your article any time before the payout freeze.

Emeka ran as fast he could from his uncle who seemed like he had dined with the devil and their agreement was to bring hell closer to him. Blood dripped from his leg, his uncle's belt had decided to claim a spot on his body, he looked at his hand, they were swollen red, if only he had clapped with those hands and given glory, even God would have left his throne to be with man, but here he was, sitting on the floor just beside an abandoned umbrella he had also been beaten with.

  • Emeka ran as fast he could. His uncle seemed like he had dined with the devil, and their agreement was to bring Hell closer to him. Blood dripped from his leg. His uncle's belt had decided to claim a spot on his body. He looked at his swollen red hands. If only he had clapped with those hands, and given glory! God would have left his throne to be with him. Instead, here he was, sitting on the floor beside the abandoned umbrella he had been beaten with.

There are many ways to structure English sentences. These are just my suggestions. I hope this coaching will be helpful for you.

I've upvoted and resteemed this article as one of my daily post promotions on the @mitneb Curation Trail. It will be featured in my daily curation report on 13 JAN 2018.

Cheers!

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.30
TRX 0.12
JST 0.033
BTC 63642.15
ETH 3126.93
USDT 1.00
SBD 3.87