Biggest Disappointments in Rock!

I didn't have a TV as a kid. For a while at least. My mom was a single parent, and didn’t feel TV was going to be a positive aspect in my life compared to reading or listening to music.

If she knew how much music trivia I would throw at her for the rest of her life, she may have thought differently.

In high school, I was the kid who identified with every type of music and could tell you the hidden meanings of songs and point out interesting musical choices made in some songs that many may have missed. For example, in "Walk This Way" by Aerosmith, at the end of the verse where Steven Tyler sings "see-saw swingin' with the boys in the school with your feet flyin' up in the air", have you noticed Aerosmith Joey Kramer playing a cowbell?

It's not mind-blowing stuff, but it's the stupid shit that floats around in my head.

"Walk this Way" is notable a song that has a great beginning. When you hear Joe Perry rip into that intro riff, it immediately stirs a great feeling. You know right where the song is headed.

Then there are the songs that, in my opinion, utterly blow it. They start the song with a promise the song is going one place, then derail you into a song you never agreed to. They SCAMMED US!

I'm not saying I don't like these songs. They just irk me that I wanted more of the beginning.

So, here we go. My top three "You fucking tricked us!" songs, with an honorable mention by my wife.

4. (Honorable Mention) Crazy Train - Ozzy Osbourne

Being who I am, I have brought this topic up several times with my wife, Katie. I have showed her my picks, made her listen several times while I pause the track and present my side of the debate, and she agrees with most of what I think (about music).
This, however, is her #1 pick.

I think I was always too wrapped up in the "Ozzy" element of this song to ever place it into perspective. Or maybe because Ozzy is one of my idols from childhood that I can't see the spots on his armor. I mean, sure, I have made fun of the light hearted, cheerleader aspect of the first time he says, "Crazy", but it never bugged me as much as it does her. I have to agree, the way Randy Rhodes and the crew start the song, who would know it would get so... whiny? I don't know.

As a side note, I can't tell you how excited the sixth grader in me is when I hear this song come on over places like the supermarket radio, or in a bank. Who ever would have thought Ozzy would be acceptably played in a public space? I LOVE IT!

3. Layla - Derek and the Dominos

In truth, there's so much change in this song. It's an amazing composition. The beginning is played by Eric Clapton, and a guest member of the band. Duane Allman. Allman and Clpaton has amazing chemistry, and who knows what the pair could have done if Allman hadn't died in a motorcycle accident.

Allman plays the first signature line, and it is far-out, solid and right on!

Then, through the magic of the studio, the duo play a combined six different guitar parts weaving together this great ballad.

But that fade out/ switch that happens around 3:08? Don't get me wrong, it's an awesome part of the song, but it's total bullshit.

First of all, for those who don't know, Eric Clapton's epic wail of a song, "Layla" is a song of Clapton's unrequited love for George Harrison's wife, Patti Boyd.

Clapton and the rest of the "Dominos" recorded the original ballad portion of the song and felt it was pretty solid.

Later, and I mean nearly three weeks later, Clapton returned to the studio to find drummer Jim Gordon playing a piano piece of his own composition. That's when Clapton either gently convinced or strong armed Gordon into using the piece on the album.

My guess is Clapton couldn't think of any good words, so he just duct-taped it to the end of this perfectly good song.

It's batshit crazy, but it works. And again, I love it.

Speaking of batshit crazy, I almost forgot... On July 10, 1984 Jim Gordon (not the Batman commissioner, the drummer, piano player and co-writer of Layla) had his mental health problems come to a head. After years of tell his doctors he was hearing voices, and them not getting it, he attacked his 73 year old mother with a hammer and then stabbed her to death. As of this writing, he is still in prison and not doing very well regarding his mental health.

2. Can’t You Hear me Knocking - The Rolling Stones

I mean, come on!

That opening riff kicks such ass! Keith said in an interview that he had just tuned his guitar to Open G, and the riff basically fell out all on it’s own. When Charlie Watts joins in on drums and Bill Wyman on bass, it just sits in such a loose, awesome pocket.

Now this feels right! Nothing is stopping this train, baby! We are taking it all the way home!

But then Keith plays the little “Can’t You Hear me Knocking” riff. Mick Jagger joins in, followed by Mick Taylor fiddling around with chords and other bum-fuckery, and to me at least, the whole tone changes.

I don’t know where I feel the original song could have gone, but it wouldn’t have been into some epic spur-of-the-moment conga jam session. But, that’s what happened. The Stones finished their first take of the song and started putting their instruments down. But Mick Taylor decided he was having fun and kept jamming. The rest of the guys joined in, and to their luck, the tape recorders were still going.

1. Go All The Way - Raspberries

Come the fuck on!

That opening is soooo killer! It is an epic horn across the countryside calling all who can hear it to come and witness the awesomeness that is… teeny bopper bullshit music from the 70s.

Whichever member of this shitty band convinced the rest of the guys that the song should go from this awesome rock-pop blast off to a half sunken turd of a love song should be covered in farts until he dies.

I blame Eric Carmen, That dude was so fucking lame with his stupid helmet hair.

But, I still like the song and it’s “dirty” lyrics for the time it was out.

That’s it!

What are some songs you think start off awesome and then completely change? Am I sooooooo off base on my thoughts? Let me hear what you think.

Thanks for reading!

You’re the best!