Late Night Sessions #4 - Untitled
I recorded this late last night. In this verse I am talking about how I don't feel "depressed", but just hollow. Nothing really brings true JOY to me any more, except for music. Only time I really feel that spark, passion, light, is when I'm creating. If I'm not creating, then it's just blah.
Let me know what you guys think.
There's both Youtube and Soundcloud below.
Lyrics:
I need to confide in my rhymes, only thing that’s authentic
And because of my anger I need it, without it I’d be demented,
I would lie if I ever said that I never wanted to or thought that I’d end it
I'm thinking this agony took my ability to love, so, did god intend it?
Feel it’s all wrong, The best that I have is some solace in my complacency
Fallen into this state of things, hollow but still amazes me
Cuz the light’s strong, but without emotions, the color of life’s gone
I want to feel passion, never feel magic, will this stain remain lifelong?
I can not live this way, all the mistakes,
My shoulder’s can’t hold under this weight
Wanna just break, watch it give way
Be insane in a month if it’s this rate
Damn, just want some feelin inside my chest
I am not thinking that I’m depressed
But how come I’ve never been like the rest?
Tough one, this migration, Had so many expectations
Sat here and I’ve been patient, how come I still feel so vacant?
Just wanna be me again, just wanna feel the breeze again
Just wanna feel free again, and have something worth believing in
Are you a music creator or just love music?
- Steem Music Alliance. Singers, producers, everything.
- #thecut is the SPOT for all things hip hop related.
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- Steem Music Alliance. Singers, producers, everything.
- #thecut is the SPOT for all things hip hop related.
Count my vote for writing a second verse to this one.
I know you said you're not depressed but it sounds like you are. Depression doesn't need to manifest itself in constant suicidal thoughts or a feeling of constant misery... sometimes it's just anhedonia as you describe. I know some other people like that. Hope you can work through what you're dealing with, man.
Hey, thanks man!
Well, I wouldn't say that I have anhedonia either, like there is joy and I can feel it. It's just, there's a vast difference in the joy I feel now and what I use to feel. Like, when I was into something I was INTO IT. Now it's all very much on the surface, like... Kind of like watching a play, just sitting back and watching it, and the emotions come, and you see them, and you feel them, but nothing ever sticks.
I really do appreciate the support, and I'm honestly fine. That's why I write, to both feel and get those feelings out at the same time. By writing, I bring the emotions to the table and I can hold them for as long as I am writing about it. Which is probably why I write so damn much. One of the only ways I really capture my feelings and actually have them, lol.
Hence, first line in the verse lol;
I need to confide in my rhymes, only thing that’s authentic
Wow yea you should continue, this one was really beautiful!
Thanks man, I really appreciate it. I think I will put out the second verse sometime next week, hopefully.