Fall Down Seven, Get Up Eight

There is a saying 'Fall Down Seven Times, Get Up Eight'. You may have seen the meme fly past your twitter feed. Maybe it made you pause for a moment; maybe it gave you a little courage in a project. I find this quote particularly fitting for the music business. I say it to myself quite often and use the idea in my daily life. It is the real deal—the real practical way you accomplish anything in this messy life.

When I was young, I 'got-up-8', because I thought I was going somewhere. That all these shoots and ladders were leading to a destination of some sort. A plateau where I could look out over my kingdom, so to say, and shout, 'well done good and faithful dude.'

Counting Failure

I don't keep count. I don't say okay I'm on number five 'fall down'. I don't need to keep track. The 'Eight' is always the time that I don't feel like I can get up again. The one through seven attempts are almost lost in the bustle of 'trying' and hoping. Eight though... I know when it's time for the 'Eighth get up' — It's when I've lost hope; when there seems no reason to get up anymore. When no one would blame me for staying on the matt. That's when you get up eight.

But this is not just some climatic scene at the end of a movie, the 7-down-8-up is a pattern of life. It is the sun that comes up over the horizon each day, and it's decline at night.

When I was looking for the meme, I saw one that said, 'Fall down 99, get up 100'; that's cute, but not reality. If you were falling down 99 times, I would think that maybe you're on the wrong path. But we do fall down 99 times, and 299 times, and 10,000 times; but we experience the mercy of the phases of life. Much like I might tell someone that want's to take their life, 'what a difference a day makes.' A day can and usually does make a big difference.

No matter the difficulty, the clockwork of life will turn its dials for you; like the waves of the ocean, we too (especially the artist type) cycle through emotional states. Seven down, up 8, is the mathematical equation we all must face if we are to make anything of consequence in the world.

For us, there will be many deep valleys of doubt. There will be entire albums/projects/videos that seemingly no one but a few listen to. You'll look at those 'failed' projects in the dark days, and they will seem like proof that you need to quit playing around and get a real life. You may experience long seasons where no one will touch you with a ten-foot guitar string.

What do you do when no one listens to your music?

I use those thoughts of the equation to set up the math of survival as an artist, most particularly as a songwriter/musician. And most directly at the question of, 'what do you do when no one listens to your music'.

I should put the word 'seemingly' no one listens... I don't know a musician in my life that absolutely 'no one' listens to. I know a guitarist that never plays in public, but his kids listen to his music. I know one guy who is an amazing musician, and his wife is the only one (besides me) who hears his songs.

I wrote this one for my momz

But let's be honest, that is not enough. Moms are great, friends are great, husbands and wives are great, but that is not 'why' we picked up an instrument. I find answers like 'I do it for myself' completely disingenuous. I just have known too many artists to think that is true for anyone. I hasten to add though, that does not mean that many parts of the craft of music are not done for one's self, and quietly enjoyed for their sake alone; what I'm getting at is the driving force behind our music. The motivation in the shadows of the studio. In those shadows lurks a desire to be heard, to even have an impact on the universe.

How do you survive as a 'failure'

How do you survive when no one wants to listen? When you look at your likes and stats and you can tell only your mom and dad are listening on Spotify? ...if that. How do you deal with no one listening for years? For decades even? ...and continue to make good work. How many gigs can you play with no one in the audience but the bartender? To make it all worse, our society only has one definition of success in music, that being fame. "Hey man, your good, you should go on The Voice!"

For me, I can say that when started headlong on this music path, about the age of 16. If I had been given a glimpse of the totality of what music would yield in my life; meaning seeing all the events in one view (and my bank accounts), all the failure and disappointments; I would, without a doubt have walked away from music at that time. I don't say that to be negative, or even to reveal regrets I harbor—I don't have any regrets about my life.

I only say that if I took all visible struggles into view at once, it would be too much. That is the reason I find the equation of 7-down-8-up very merciful. I like that I took this path. I'm glad I didn't know it would be so hard. Otherwise, I would not have chosen it.

Does it get any easier?

If you were looking for a pad answer inspirational piece, that's not me. Life is way too complex for that kind of stuff. It's damn hard to keep going, especially in music/art. It's made even harder by the social media dopamine scheme.

I'm around 43... I don't actually know exactly how old I am most of the time. I guess I could think about it and figure it out. Right now I don't. I like that I don't know. My kids will tell me how old I am every few years, then I forget. I don't celebrate a birthday, so when someone asks, I usually guess around what I think. That's odd, I know, but I say it to emphasize that life is a haze. I dropped out of the starting gate in my teens, every day is a race to make my song. I mean every day. There are no breaks, no weekends, no sick time. I literally have thought, planned and schemed my music-life from waking till sleep for as long as I can now remember.

I drop all this personal weirdness mainly so you know my age. I think it's important when talking about life/acomplishment/ struggles to know someone's age, but also so you know my addiction. I am addicted to making 'my' music—my songs.

The answer to the much-posed question in this blog, 'what to do when no one cares about your music,' would be different for a young person than someone in their 30's 40's or on. I'll get to us older folks on down the page a bit.
But for now, the budding artist that no one wants to hear.

Out of the gate and nowhere fast

For a young person, life has a way of threading you through a structure of the final representation of your true outcome. The advice that works is usually something like you see all day in memes, and inspirational blogs, "put your head down and go!!!" Follow your passion where ever it may lead! I'd add to all that good stuff, some of my own unoriginal memes:
'learn acceptance.'
'Forgive all things, especially yourself.
'Learn to enjoy where you are at all times'.
'Live inside the boundary of 24 hours. Do the next right thing, and keep moving whether your flat on your face or getting up for the eighth time'.

It is this inertia that threads you into a structure of what you will be.

Follow your passion...ugk... that is so 2010

The reason 'follow your passion no matter what' is such good advice for a younger musician, is because you will end up in the place that you have invested in most. That might not be where you expected to be But, do you want an outcome based on 'not following your passion' or one that is the natural outcome of 'following your passion?' You have to answer that.

In the end, you may also find yourself in the music 'hobby room'; at times with no one listening to your music. Yet, you will have a lot of things to play with and possibilities to entertain if you followed your passion. If you did not, then you will find yourself still desiring those passions and looking up at a mountain with a bum knee. Not to say you can't make the climb when you're older; the choice will be one that takes more courage than you've ever had to muster before though.

Some people advise that if something has proven itself not to work over and over again, then you need to move on to something else. I think this is true in many categories, but not music. I would never tell anyone who has the slightest propensity for music to give it up.

Music is not just some career choice. Even if you're not successful in it, is a lovely lifetime partner. Don't let the world push it out of your schedule. No matter what life brings, music can only bring riches into your life... if you let it.

Ambien, Music Ambitions & Short Lived Dreams

Now I have to jump in real quick and differentiate between music and musical ambition. While it's true that music can only bring a richness to your life, music ambition can kill you dead if you're not careful. I speak here today to more of the musically ambitious type.

For those types that are asking this question now, first ask your self honestly, 'have I done the work?' Have I put something out there worth listening to? It may seem like a silly question. But if you're as crazy as me: I remember years where I was under this sorrow of no one listening to me, but now, as I look back at those years it's very clear that I had not even put anything out, or was playing anywhere. (Hahah..) I have to laugh. I had let years laps between putting out any music and sat around wondering why no one was listening. There was music out there in stores, but the fact that I was not actively playing, or putting out music, and still pitting myself, should have been a clear signal that I was not doing the work. If I was going to pity myself, there should have been some beef behind it, like an album or show that failed to produce results.

The 'No one's listening because I wasn't making any noise' fantasy

I was living in a fantasy of life, not a reality. It's like an old saying where a man tells the fire to burn and then he will give it wood. Or, another where he tells the field to grow wheat, only then will he give it seed.

The odds of someone hearing you in the toilet

It's silly, I know, but we humans do that. we can get lost in our heads, in our fantasy life. The media loves to tell us stories of the accidental discovery of artists. Those are fun stories, but why rely on such odds? They are slimmer than ever today. And even if you were discovered, are you ready to go on tour tomorrow? Got your chops, and a band, and a slew of hit songs to take you past the dreaded one-hit wonder valley? The flat truth about that scenario is that you would be owned by someone else, your creativity would be owned, and your life would be owned by the discovery and funding parties.

But, I've done the work a$$hole

But you say, I've down the work... dear God I've done the work! and still.. no one seems to grab on to it. If this is the case, then you might be tempted or told (depending on your personality) to derive the idea that your music is not 'worth' listening to and that is why it gets no 'ears'.

What is your worth? And what's it worth?

This gets to the heart of the matter though. What is the worth of music? Of art? When we are in times that seemingly no one is listening, we ask ourselves, 'should I go on, is it just a waste of time?'

Music Craft Vrs. Mojo

When I write this, I write from the standpoint of doing music through a lifetime. If you persist in music undoubtedly you will find times that your music is not so great. Times when it just doesn't click with your scene or the wider consciousness. But if you persist, you will create some good work. 80% of music is craft. People that persist but don't have the other 20%, which I'll call 'mojo' or 'talent', still will reach a pinnacle of 'craft.' And most, except for the saddest cases, will receive some listenership, some recognition.

'Talent' is but a small part of songwriting and musicianship. In fact, there seems to be a personal statistic I've found in life that the more 'talented' an artist Is, the least known they are, on the other side, the most skilled craftsmen an artist is, the more known/listened to they are. That's just personally how it looks from the people I know.

I'm not sure why this is, but from looking at situations like this through life—I see that the more 'talented' folks will neglect the business of music much more than the solely skilled artist. In the end, they make better music, and the so-called 'craftsmen' make better business—where you invest.

Do I have what it 'takes'

There is a book I love, called 'of human bondage' by W. Somerset Maugham. In one of the climactic scenes, the protagonist Philip has gotten in a teaching situation with a great artist and he want's to know 'Do I have talent!' 'Do I have what it takes.' If not, then (and this is part of the drama in the book) 'what's the point of going on. We tend to think this way in our society... we want to know, 'Do I have a chance!' if not, 'I don't want to waste my life on something I won't be great at.'

This is completely backward. Philip should dramatically ask himself 'Do I love to paint!!!!!' If the reply from himself is: 'No, I just want to be famous, remembered, and have applause when I walk in a room'—then he should put down the paint brush, there are so many less painful ways to gain recognition than art.

If You build it, It will come.. or at least you'll get better building!

Here is another equation for you to ponder: If you 'Love to sing, write songs or play an instrument' + are willing to plant the seeds (do the work) then I can assure you; you'll achieve some kind of listenership from time to time. You more than likely will experience successes from time to time and if you add to that 'and.. I want to do this for a living from my work' then, you most likely will make a living from time to time.

I put 'from time to time' because it leads us back to the first equation. Even if you find success, even if it's big success, relative to your success you will feel this feeling from time to time, that people are no longer interested in your music. For the bigger success cases, I don't have much to say because I'm not a bigger success. But for those that rise to some sort of success either in their town their region, or online somewhere, I can speak to that.

For us, there will be many deep valleys of doubt. There will be entire albums/projects/videos that seemingly no one but a few listen to. You'll look at those 'failed' projects in the dark days, and they will seem like proof that you need to quit playing around and get a real life. You may experience long seasons where no one will touch you with a ten-foot guitar string.

How do you deal with this and keep going?

How do you deal with this and keep going? I'd say you don't. I don't think anyone deals with it well. I have a funny radio interview somewhere on the web, where I went on this talk show as a guest to talk about my suicide attempt, depression etc.. The host asked me— after I told him of all the horrors going on at that time— "How did you and your family cope?" I said, "I didn't. They didn't. How can you cope with that? We just lived through it." (or something like that) It was an awkward moment. I could feel in his voice, he wanted some simple instruction, a pdf with 'three steps of how to cope when you want to die'. ha! I had no such thing. We just live through some things. And if we do; we get a chance to see the beauty of it all. If we don't... well that's the thing about life: it goes on whether we like it or not.

The Seven failures are a part of the eight success

The only comfort I can give is that I believe it is like I spoke of above: a part of a pattern of life. And, if you do 'get up eight'; If you do get back up in these times where everyone including facts of life, history and your mate tells you to 'give up', then you will get a chance to ride the waves once more. The pattern will start over from 'one' and you can fall some more—and then, get up some more.

Meaning you will have many successes and many failures. They go together like backs and fronts as Alan Watts would say. We experience many deaths before death and many births after birth. The deaths let us appreciate the births all the more.

And now that we're getting into 'deaths', (haha) I'll go on to my thoughts for older folks, like me, who are still getting up.

When I'm sixty-four will you still come to my gig?

Life becomes a different game as you get older. There are many things you don't know, and no one can tell you, when you're young. You simply have to experience them. Even when you're older, you possibly can not even articulate the nuggets of life-experience-wisdom you have accumulated. It's elusive.

I know bringing up our mortality is not a popular subject. Many don't want to think about the idea that they are in the 'bonus round of life' as my friend who just turned 50 says.

But for those in the bonus round, I think the answer to what to do when no one is listening, is much simpler to answer. You keep doing it. All the advice for the young still applies. You get up again, and again and again, You follow your passion like it is your very life breath. The wisdom is the same, but I think the foundation underneath it is different when you get older—the motivation for 'getting up 8' is very different in my view.

When I was young, I 'got-up-8', because I thought I was going somewhere. That all these shoots and ladders were leading to a destination of some sort. A plateau where I could look out over my kingdom, so to say, and shout, 'well done good and faithful dude.'

But life has shown me something different: There really is nowhere to go. There is nowhere I need to be. There is nothing at the top of the mountain that I can not have here in the peaceful valleys. So in that spirit, I still want to and have to motivate myself to keep going, to keep putting myself in uncomfortable action, pushing myself to new levels of creative action. Further than just internal motivation though, I need to put my self 'in public' more than ever—to risk embarrassment, like some old dude making a sexy video; but, not because I'm trying to 'make it' or something, but because action breeds action.

I get more tired now, I have more of the weight of the world on me, the weight of past failures on me. I have to put myself in positions that more so force my hand to create than ever before.. otherwise, it's just too damn tempting to sit and watch the tube.

I do experience that lull, that dull aching when I see albums I've poured my blood into that nobody but my mom listens to. I do have seasons where I can get no traction; in fact, it gets harder every year.

I find the social media syndrome causes those lulls to come even closer together. Not too long ago, you really didn't expect a lot of listeners when an album phase was dying out and you were working on the next cycle, now though, you kinda do expect some lov'n all the time.

And like I said to the young artists just out of the gate, you don't really cope. You just live through it. And that still stands when you're older. But, as I said, it's a little easier to do now.

I see very clearly that it's all fading away anyway. Why get my panties all in a bunch over a few ceiling tiles that have fallen, when it's sure the whole ceiling will be coming down soon. That can sound dim.. but I really don't think it has to be a dim subject.

The true grasping of the transitory nature of life might have been the only thing possible to force me into such enjoyment of my life and music. I love that I GET to make this music. I love it when someone does hear it and says something, but I don't need that to keep doing it. I love it when I make some money at music... but I don't need that either.

To keep enjoying the sheer sweat & labor of crafting a song and recording can be enough sometimes. With an acceptance that there is no place to go, no real favorable outcome, so to say; I can do something now which I could not do when I was young: get lost in the outcome of a day's work; with no expectation of it leading to anything beyond that moment. To be in one day, and one day only. Now, I don't 'live' there, but I can and do go there quite often—it's like an eternity on earth.

When I was young in those times that no one cared about my music were devastating because my goal was for lots of people to listen to my music every day. My goal now is to make my best work in the last years here on earth. I don't know when that is, so I start now. I start every day to reach that goal. I also find a lot of satisfaction in helping younger artist succeed where I failed when I was young. There is something very redeeming about your own hard lessons and failures finding some good use to other artists.

A few years ago I rented a room to another working musician in town. He had to walk through my house to get to his room every day and would catch a glimpse of my wild mental games on a mirror in the walkway. I sometimes write different things on this big mirror that you have to pass to get anywhere in my house. He is a young guy, and he told me recently that the mirror really freaked him out sometimes. Especially one night when he came in at 2 am and saw written in what looked like blood (it was lipstick) "Ezra, you die tonight. So, what are your plans today? I left that one up for almost a month, and funny enough, my plans were almost every day: more music.

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