The song now

I actually had another post in mind today and started writing it. And then my dog ask to take her out. And so I did. I put on my headphones and off we went. A song came on I only heard for the first time a month or so ago when I transferred it by accident from my younger sister when I was sending some music from her phone to mine. It is a beautifully written, simple, song. It gives me chills. I just googled the video for the first time. I cried, of course. After all, I am one of those melodramatic fools.

The song is 'Say you won't let go' by James Arthur. It's about true love. It's kind of fairytaleish (yeah, I know that's not a word). It's just lovely from a to z but I especially love this part: I wanna live with you even when we're ghosts. 'Cause you were always there for me when I needed you most. What I love most about it is that even though it's incredibly beautiful It's relatable. Like, I have that. That what he sings about. The RomCom relationship. The happily ever after. I get it a lot, that I am lucky to have him and it always irritates me but I am aware of that. I'm the luckiest girl in the world. I'll thank my lucky stars for that night. I really love I heard this song now because if I knew it before I had the feelings or experience to match I wouldn't have fully appreciated its beauty. And it got me thinking...

The songs then

Different little events, like my choice of clothing or the music challenge I've been doing, take me back to my high school years, which I swear were yesterday but the calendar somehow shows they were over 10 years ago. I already wrote I was the most annoying and dramatic teen. I tried to live the movies because the reality was not the brightest. I wanted to have the RomCom experience. And I was searching for music to match. As would a proper drama queen leading lady I was overdramatic in my romantic encounters. And I had the perfect soundtrack to match. Now I see just how foolish I was, but hey, aren't first loves supposed to be so? Even though I at time feel embarrassed for my foolishness I'm actually grateful for the music. I got to fully experience some truly beautiful sad songs. Love songs. Songs you just won't get without the heartbreak. So I wanted to share with you some of my all-time favourite heartbreak songs.

Iris - Go Go Dolls

You don't need to even get to the first verse and you'd be bawling your eyes out if you were, say, 17, and just broke up with your boyfriend for the 18th time. This song is so freaking beautiful. I now can enjoy it without the negative connotations and with a smile on my face because I love the song but I am grateful for the RomCom heart brake that made me get it. It even has the instrumental part in the middle for like really heavy crying when you can't really cry and sing. When everything seems like the movies, yeah you bleed just to know you're alive.

4 In The Morning - Gwen Stefani

A song about crying in the middle of the night while you're watching MTV and crying in the middle of the night, it doesn't get any real than that. I remember I was captivated by the video as well. It was so fancy looking and simple compared to her other work. It came about the same time I got obsessed with Audrey Hepburn so I loved seeing it as much as I related to the song itself.

Broken - Seether feat. Amy Lee

Lonely, sad, broken. Lovely music, beautiful contrast between Amy's angelic voice and Shaun Morgans deep, frisky voice is absolutely stunning. I love it much more than Evanescence's crying classic My Immortal

Don't Cry - Guns'n'Roses

This one is truly a weeping classic. If you haven't cried to don't cry are you even human?

Here Without You - 3 Doors Down

Even though lately they are best known as the band that played at Trump's inauguration I love this one (and Kryptonite) from 3 Doors Down. This was very popular breakup song among my friends. It's a great sing-along song too. I find it to be very liberating when stressed to sing out loud. And there are a few things more stressful for a teenager then the first heartbreak.

I Don't Want To Miss a Thing - Aerosmith

This one actually came automatically on YouTube after Here without you. I bet there are many emo playlists on the platform with the last three songs on them. This one is a classic soundtrack song. It's not actually about a broken heart but it does make you cry. It reminds me of a boy I already wrote about last year. When this song came out I was still in primary school, 6th or 7th grade I think. We lived in a village that had no cable Tv and no Internet so all of our music came from the radio. I used to listen to foreign radio chart every Thursday, I think it was called Musicland, and this was, of course, number one for weeks. So they had this option to call in after the show and make a music wish. So I did. I asked Samir Mila, bless that man, to play this for Vedran. I thought nobody a) listens to the sow and b) will know it was me. Boy, was I wrong! And embarrassed. And I, of course, denied everything and never called in again.

Vermilion pt. 2 - Slipknot

This is one of the most beautiful songs of all times. It might come to surprise to you it's a song by Slipknot and it actually is kind of a sequel to Vermillion which is by itself a mellow song for the band but much more in their style, kind of creepy in the wake of the Me2 movement I must add. But the pt.2 is unrecognisable. And so eerie. ANd so creepy. And so beautiful. Just the vocal, actually singing, a violin and the guitar. Even the two videos are connected. And this reminded me I haven't listened to Duality on max volume on headphones for way too long. Hashtag therapy.

You Have Killed Me - Morrissey

This one is great in the late stages of grief. Right before the acceptance part. A great, great song from a great artist.

Linger - The Cranberries

Everybody know them for the ''Zombies'' track but they have a shit tone of lovely heartbreak and happy times music. Now they just make for a beautiful background music when I'm working and remind me of my best friend. She was equally overdramatic in high school and we would talk, write poems, smoke cigarettes and listen to lovely music together. Nice times. Pozdrav Mateji.

Breath Easy - Blue

This was one of the boy bands mostly popular among us that had access to the German MTV that played them basically in a loop. I would listen to their albums all the time and know every oooh and aaaah and yeeeeah. My sister loved them and so did my bff. So we would like houwl together. It dod not sound pretty but it was fun. I was allways Lee and Anthony.

All Of This - Blink 182 feat. Robert Smith

It's hard to cut the choice but I'll finish with this one, from one of my all-time favourite albums (check out the cover here and upvote while you're at it). It's a collaboration with the legendary Robert Smith from Cure. That album has many great songs about relationships including a break-up classic I Miss You

I credit mostly MTV for finding almost all of the songs above. And Samir Mila (a local radio host) of course. I just realized this was probably one of my last chances to write about this because I'm still technically in my 20ies so I can pass as someone who has just gone through the teen years. There is a ton of Croatian heartbreak songs but I'll save those for the Croatian version of this post. Which were your favourite song to cry to in high school? I saw there is another musical reminiscence challenge, besides the one from @gingergeorge, floating around so I bet many of you are listening to old songs these days. Let me know in the comments! Ruler by @cryptosharon.