A disturbing South African Murder reveals the issues of assumptions and judgements

I have been following this news story, since photos of the missing girl turned up in my facebook feed. And even then, not very carefully. Unfortunately we are bombarded by news of murders, abductions and missing children/people. So much so we don't always pay attention, but this girl caught my eye as she is the same age as my daughter and even has a similar look. 

It is sad this is necessary for me to care. But do any of us have the emotional energy to invest in every appalling story that crosses our news feeds every day? This is a subject for another discussion though. This abduction/murder story is so laden with preconceived notions every step of the way, that it demonstrates the typical judgments//assumptions we make every day.

I saw the Missing Person notices. Of course, as I said, I was struck by her looks, which in my case brought out my maternal instincts. I hoped she would be found. I noted she had attended a prestigious (and expensive) school in my province previously. This situation was not usually the fate of (should I say it?) somewhat pampered and protected young people who attended such institutions. I wondered what exactly it was that had led her to being vulnerable enough to be abducted? Abduction was later confirmed by CCTV footage. I speculated about drugs? 

Skip a couple of days, and her badly burned body was discovered in a sugar cane field. One of the farmers who found her said he had never before seen anything so terrible, even though he had previously served in the military. Another couple of days passed and sensational reports started coming out thick and fast. The first of these shocking reports revealed she had worked for an upmarket brothel in an upmarket residential street, close to an upmarket school. Yes, I said it three times. Then there was yet another revelation, she had worked at the brothel with her mother. All these facts are confirmed. 

A suspect has been arrested. A private detective arrested him, as opposed to the police, but he has apparently admitted guilt. Not confirmed. The suspect was described as the last person who you would ever suspect to be involved in this brutal crime. News reports said he was very well-dressed, well-educated biochemist from yet another affluent neighbourhood. Though further rumours have hinted at depraved cellphone photos and numerous sexual aids found at his home.

The issue of preconceived notions and judgements have really been brought to the fore for me by this tragic case. As soon as social media discovered the occupation of the murdered girl, nasty comments abounded. Justice for Siam Lee: We must defend her from victim blaming by Mishka Wazaar Justice for Siam Lee: We must defend her from victim blaming by Mishka Wazaar powerfully tackles how non-mainstream members of society are denied sympathy, and (I am extrapolating here) here, adequate justice at times, because they are judged by other members of society as not being worthy. They don't conform. Mishka Wazar slammed the news site who outed her profession. She said it wasn't necessary to mention Siam and her mother's profession.

Although Mishka Wazar's argument was excellent, I have to disagree that her profession had nothing to do with her case. She was abducted outside her place of work. She had been receiving threatening phone calls by an individual (the accused?) who apparently wanted to have a relationship with her. Her murder would probably not have occurred if it was not for her profession. BUT, we also have regular attacks on vulnerable older people who live alone in this country. They are never blamed for their choice of living arrangements.

I have also read many comments about the mother, who has been blamed for grooming her child for sex work. I find this a lot more difficult to deal with. It IS horrifying, and the thought of a mother/daughter pair in a brothel feels simply sick to me. I read somewhere the mother said that a massive legal bill had left them destitute. The thing is, although the situation feels wrong, there really is no way I can form an opinion about this situation until a lot more facts are available to me. Many on social media are accusing the mother as being directly responsible for her daughter's death. Maybe this is true, maybe she is evil and selfish, but if it is not, imagine losing your daughter, and being held to blame? I suspect we will obtain a far more comprehensive idea of the circumstances during the court case, which will be widely covered in the media due to its salacious details.

Did Siam have a foreshadowing of her death when she posed for this photo on a bed of sugar cane?

Appearances are always what the word describes, appearances only. Who would have thought a private school pupil, who had the appearance of being wealthy, would have to resort to working in a brothel to make ends meet? Who would have thought her mother worked with her in in the brothel and introduced her (I presume) to the profession? Who would even have thought the house in the upmarket suburb was even a brothel? And nobody thought the accused was capable of such a horrific crime? The saddest part of all, is how sympathy turned to viciousness by so many people, who are living their own perfect??? lives. All humans deserve our compassion, and it is unbelievable this obvious fact needs to be stated. We never know (for sure) what is behind the smiles of the people around us.

@onetree

I have downloaded all the photos used in this article from facebook, where they all have been widely shared.