COLONIZED BY ELON: A TIM OSMAN ROMANCE , part 7 of 9 (by DERP)
Timmeh wondered for a moment about how lucky he was to be the mother of Elons firstborn. He was mildly titillated at the notion of having seduced the Martian Pope before Bezos could have his own implantable womb fertilized by that great genius among men.
Timmeh gleaned sharply the shadows this time, his eyes narrowing he could feel the material of his beanie stretching. "Well, you sound like a fuckin' robot bitch", Timmeh replied back, running towards the shadows.
He heard a sudden sound; a creaking kind of purring...then the crisp clicking sounds of castanets echoing fleetly through the labyrinth. "I am a Robot", said the A.I. He turned a corner, stopping short, he saw a shadowy claw on the wall curled in a j motion, triggering Timmeh even harder, "Spider Gods.."
Timmeh whispered, slackjawed and wanton. Timmeh had to find it and catch it somehow. The cave walls were SOO triggering him now, my bruh. Timmeh grabbed his potato knife, he was prepared to wrestle the spider crab to the death if need be.
"Lets see what what you got bruh, COME ON!!" spittle hitting his helmet interior, his off-hand punching his chest, Timmeh tried again to trigger the Spider crab, "show yourself bitch!!" his voice now breaking like a schoolgirls. And then...it was quiet, "A.I, give me detailed EBE analysis", he said. This time, "cowobberate" weight and height. "Re-calculating..."echoed back the A.I.
Timmeh flashed back to the omni gender bathroom floor, where he awoke face down on the tile, blowing bubbles in a pooling puddle of fluids and Space-Crank dust, and then back to the outside of his apartment, the Roman's Bouncer had flagged down an Uber for him and his Baby Elan.
The Dark Matter storm is nominal now, proclaimed the Uber driver, that will be 116 Tatercoin Mr.Miss.
"But I don't have those kind of credits said Timmeh, maybe there's something else you'd like. No thanks, the cabbie could tell from the disheveled condition he was in, and odor that he had, that he'd been with multiple simultaneous partners recently, 'this one's on me'.
