Why the Fuck Should I Watch: POLAR (2019)?
Why the fuck should you watch “Polar”?
• You like the movie genre “a skilled badass wants to retire”.
• You are sick of those pathetic PG-13 action movies, and want to see heads rolling…literally.
• Your favourite activity is “Netflix and chill”. BTW if you’re doing it alone, you are doing it wrong.
• You miss the simpler times of the 80’s.
Since all of us (yes, all) are eager for the new upcoming John Wick movie, then it’s nice that Netflix has produced a movie that tries to fill our appetite till it arrives. “Polar” is a Rated-R movie, where blood flows, heads roll and sex is a thing.
The main character, Black Kaiser (Danish Mads Mikkelsen) is a assassin, who is thinking about retirement, because he is getting 50 years old and it’s the company’s policy that all of the assassins have to retire then. Since The company doesn’t want to pay the retirement money (the usual thing in every country, I guess) then the old assassins have to be killed before turning 50. Black Kaiser has other plans about that and then all hell breaks loose.
The movie has many logic problems, over the top villain characters, some satisfying unforced humor and the weirdest romantic story I’ve seen for a long time. If I got to the end of the movie then the first thought was: “WTF exactly was this woman thinking to do?” Or maybe you’ll have the other: “How many times should one see the naked butt of Mads Mikkelsen in one movie?" (The answer is: more than you would expect.)
This movie is certainly not for everybody. Nowadays people like to use their brains and ask questions, it’s sad that we have come to this – asking questions about logic in action movies. But back in the 80’s people were different, they didn’t care if the gun had certain amount of bullets that can run out, as long as the gun was firing, everyone was happy. If you have that 80’s vibe still living in your soul, then it is a movie for you.
Thing I learned from the movie. If a girl says “blow time” then it means that people are getting killed immediately.
To wrap this up: now, the only thing I want from my life is to see John Wick and Black Kaiser crossover movie. It would be like the King Kong vs. Godzilla. I want it. Now.
Why the fuck you shouldn’t watch “Polar”?
• You got arrested last week and know that police actually exists and they show up if there’s a massive shoot-out.
• If you see blood, you faint – then it will take weeks to get to the end of this movie.
• Your favourite action movie is “The Bourne Identity” because of its realism.
• You are sure that this movie is a conspiracy to get you buying Polar watches. And the Earth is flat.