Bored of Blockbusters
Are you like me? Are you tired of the bloated, blockbuster movies with the seemingly endless scenes of mind-numbing explosions, confusing action and total destruction?
As I watched the latest over-hyped, overrated and overly-long cinematic offering that was boring me out of my skull, I thought to myself, "there must be a better way to enjoy myself."
Whatever happened to a simple, good old-fashioned monster movie? What about those of us who enjoy, schlocky, low-budget B-movies in which we don't care if the creature's eyes are two ping-pong balls each painted with a black dot?
So what if the acting is more wooden than a lumber yard.
So what if the dialogue is dreadful.
So what if the tombstones are made of cardboard.
So what if you can see the zipper on the back of the monster's rubber suit.
So what if the zombie's green makeup is starting to rub off.
So what if the giant shrews are actually poorly-disguised dogs whose wagging tails diffuse any threat.
So what if you see a boom microphone or clapboard in the scene.
I don't care about any of that. I just care about having fun, and bad movies can be a lot of fun, such as The Room which was celebrated by The Disaster Artist.
It was then that I remembered the classic Seinfeld episode in which Frank Costanza described how he came up with a new holiday called Festivus, in part because he hated the commercial aspect of Christmas. It caused him to proudly exclaim its motto:
"A Festivus for the rest of us!" - Frank Costanza
A light bulb popped up over my head.
If Frank Costanza can do it, then so can I.
A New Holiday
Out of that, a new holiday was born -- Reptilicus Day. Reptilicus for the rest of us!
Despite its name, my new proposed holiday is intended to celebrate all B-movies, not just the monster movie it was named after, that being the ridiculous regenerating reptile flick, Reptilicus. "Reptilicus for the rest of us" just has a good ring to it.
The holiday would be a way of saying, "You can have your boring, big-budget, bloated, blockbuster movies. As for me, I'll take a cheesy B-movie any day. Reptilicus for the rest of us!"
As for me, I'll take a cheesy B-movie any day. Reptilicus for the rest of us!
Army Opens Fire on Reptilicus
The next thing on the agenda was to decide when Reptilicus Day would be celebrated. I reasoned that since the Danish film was released Feb 20, 1961 in Denmark, then February 2o would be declared Reptilicus Day. However, the movie was shot twice. It was shot the first time in Danish but the second time was shot in English and released in America on Feb 21, 1962. So Reptilicus Day could also be celebrated February 21.
Therefor, what I propose is that Reptilicus Day be celebrated on both days and make it into a two-day festival, as Reptilicus Days: Feb 20-21.
So on Feb. 20, you could walk up to someone and say, "Happy Reptilicus Day!" Then on Feb 21, if you saw that same person, you would again say, "Happy Reptilicus Day!"
The Holiday That Regenerates Itself
Much like the reptilian creature, it's the holiday that regenerates itself.
Ways to Celebrate Reptilicus Days
Some of the ways I imagine the holidays would be celebrated would include but not be limited to the following:
- two day B-movie film festival bookended by both versions of Reptilicus
- a parade which features a large Reptilicus balloon
- have a 21 military tank salute (which shoot down the parade balloon)
- singing the official Reptilicus theme song, "Tilicus"
- watching the MST3K version
- enjoying a delicious meal of electric eel
- serving traditional Danish and American dishes for dinner
- enjoying frozen treats in the shape of Reptilicus' tail