A Geeky Guy's Movie Guide to Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017)

in movie-review •  last year

First off, I know what the movie is called, but I am bracing myself for several inevitable typos as my spell check refuses to allow me to type "Kingsmen" without being pestered to change it to "Kinsmen". Curse you spell checker (that I rely on 99% of the time to save me)!!!!

I wish the movie were as cool as the poster.

Over the past decade, Hollywood has begun to feel confident releasing "R" rated comedies. Although there were several successful ones before 2009, including Beverly Hills Cop, Scary Movie, and Something About Mary, The Hangover is seen as the watershed moment in this genre.

Therefore, it makes sense that the industry would look to expand this success to other genres. It looks like "R"-rated movies based on comic books are the next in line. In the past few years, w have seen the successful release of Deadpool, Logan and The Kingsman. I loved each of these movies.

The first Kingsman is a tremendous amount of fun!

When it was released, I thought the first Kingsman was remarkably clever, exciting, and funny. In summary, it was FUN. Although it is nearly impossible for a sequel to live up to the original, I still had high hopes for The Kingsman: The Golden Circle.

Sadly, this sequel fell far short of my expectations.

Having seen the original, I knew that I would need turn my ability to suspend my disbelief all the way up to 11. This series takes the most unbelievable aspects of James Bond movies and combines them with the least plausible pieces from action/comic book movies. There is literally nothing believable in either of the Kingsman movies. That is OK. They are moving comic books. I don't want them to be believable. I want them to be entertaining, not realistic. The first was a raging success in this are. The second was... not.

While the first movie seemed too have equal parts cleverness and action, this one tried to get by with more of an 80:20 ratio slanted heavily toward cleverness. The problem is, we have already seen all of the gags. What passed for clever in the first came off as tired in the second. For me, one of the positives of the film was it's tongue in cheek references to the first. Some lines from the first movie are reused in a new way. There were also references to funny situations from the first film. Because I have seen the original Kingsman several times, I understood and appreciated these jokes. Sadly, my wife who had only seen the original one time, did not. There fore she was left out of one of the redeeming parts of the movie. I honestly felt bad for her and tried to explain the references after the movie. Unfortunately, when you have to explain a joke, it's simply not that funny.

That's not funny.
I know. That's the problem. It's not funny when a joke needs to be explained.

This reliance on "cuteness" did strike gold with the inclusion of a very funny cameo. Actually it was a bit more than a cameo as this surprise person had a fairly significant role. Because it is probably the highlight of the entire movie, I promise I won't ruin the surprise. But to give you a taste, think Bill Murray in Zombieland.

In addition to the intentional links to the original, much of the movie seemed like we had seen the story before. While the first movie had Samuel Jackson as a cartoonish, silly, quirky, and over-the-top villain, this one has Julianne Moore in the same type of role. Unfortunately, she was also far less intelligent than her predecessor. For someone with a $250 billion per year drug organization, she employed a surprisingly small number of soldiers and robots to protect herself and her interests.

So deluded that she thought she only needed a handful of guards and 3 robots to protect her multi-billion dollar industry.

This lack of proper defense was just one of many plot holes (and I mean after accounting for the incredibly silly nature of the entire premise). On several occasions I found myself asking, "Why doesn't he just kill them instead of talking to them first?"

Honestly, these shortcomings would have been fine if the movie delivered on the promise of being an action movie. Even though the movie is over two hours long, there is very little action. I have no idea why anyone would bother seeing this in IMAX. No one needs to see this much dialogue and attempts at being clever on a larger than life movie screen. I saw it last night and I can only think of three sequences with significant action.

Why a briefcase with a machine gun in it instead of simply a machine gun?
Who cares? At least it was some action for a change.

Instead of action, much of the movie plays like a drawn out soap opera plot involving snapping a loved one out of their amnesia. I actually think the inclusion of amnesia may be apropos as I believe at times the writers wanted us to forget we had seen the movie before... although then why include so many references to the previous movie? (Soap operas! Never try to figure them out.)

In other spy movies, the writers sometimes choose to forgo action in order to include a mystery solving aspect to the film. The Kingsman:The Golden Circle did not even attempt to do this. The entire plot is spelled out from the very beginning with absolutely no twists or turns. I believe the writers thought the movie included enough clever lines and comedy to make up for the lack of action and mystery. It did not.

Oh and if you are like my wife and you went specifically to see Channing Tatum, don't bother. He is only in the movie for about 10 minutes.

Here you go ladies. If you look at this for 11 minutes, you will have seen Mr. Tatum for one more minute than you would have in the movie.

And now for the truly strange part. Although this review may have read like I hated this movie, I did not. Because I enjoyed the surprise character, searching for all the connections to the previous movie, laughed out loud a few times, and enjoyed what little action there was, I did not think it was a complete waste of time.

However, that is the rub. Due to the lack of action and the repetitive plot, it was a waste of time and money to see this in the theater.

I probably would have enjoyed the movie more if I did not waste a babysitter on seeing this. (Babysitter time is like gold in my house. I would not knowingly spend that capital on this type of movie.)

Geeky Guy’s Viewing Guide

Number of times I fell asleep: 0
Number of eye rolls: 4 (And that is even though I knew I would seriously have to suspend my disbelief. )
Number of face palms: 2 (Nothing could prepare me for a couple of the plot holes... or weird singing.)
Number of times I checked steemit: 2 (Once on the way to the bathroom, once on the way back. I don't think I missed anything while I was gone.)
Number of times I said "That's ridiculous": (The singing. Trust me, if you see it, you will understand exactly what I mean.)
Full price/Matinee/Rental/Free/Not worth the time: If you loved the first one, rent this one. If not, wait to see it on Netflix.
Appropriate for my kids: No! No! No!

Images 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

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Thank you for the review.

There's one thing I always when going to the movies:

Expect the absolute worst pile of garbage ever made. This way, the movie is always suprisingly good! (Well, at least compared to my expectation).

I can tell you from experience: even The Golden Circle was enjoyable this way!

No, it's not the greatest movie ever, but when you're going to the cinema for a good time, expecting the worst is highly recommended!

Cheers and thanks for this good review, without too much spoilers!!


Nice approach! That way you won't be disappointed!


You are definitely right. Expecting anything better than garbage is pretty risky with today's movies.

great post dear, I figure I will skirt this one and go for Blade Runner 2049. I've quite recently as of late watched unique Blade Runner.

I refuse to read this post because I have SOOOO been looking forward to watch this movie! I will watch it and then read the post to see if we have the same view here. Hmmmm but I will still vote you...

"Due to the lack of action and the repetitive plot, it was a waste of time and money to see this in the theater."

I guess I will skip this one and go for Blade Runner 2049. I've just recently watched original Blade Runner, boy what a movie that was..


I can't wait for blade runner. I forgot that most of the community wasn't born when the first was released. One of my favorite movies of all time.

Wow, I actually Like the first movie and really wanted to see this... to be honest...


I loved the first one. That may have been part of my problem. My expectations were too high.


Facts! and I'm sorry to reply so late! I'm completely new to this platform still and it doesn't have a notification settings to let me know someone replied or commented! @hanshotfirst

Like all movies based on English popular culture, really enjoyed the first one. Excited to see all the gadgets and intelligent detective equipment in this one too. I know it's not a holy shit this is amazing sort of a movie series, but it was fun!


I don't think I'm too far off. I could have just waited for DVD.


Now I'm going to wait for the DVD ;)

I like this ur honest review abt the movie

the first movie was awesome and had a great script and solid cast, havent seen the second one but i hope its as good as the first one especially with the introduction of Channing Tatum and Halley Berry, most movies when they do a sequel usually do it for the money and end up loosing the appeal that made us love the first one. hope i wont be dissapointed cause am a big fan of Kingsmen


Warning: Those two are not in the movie very much. I think back when my wife and I were dating and we had all the time in the world, this would have been a great matinee. But with our time together being scarce now, I need movies to really knock my socks off to make it worth while.

What is up @hanshotfirst its Bigfoot weedzard here hehe :D

thanks for that review bossman :D u give me idea what to do on these evening :D see ya around man :)

I can't wait for this film to come out I loved the first one, can't wait :)

I loved when I read that you checked your steemit about 2 times. That really made me smile how much people love steemit. Thanx a lot for the movie review.

The main problem being, film companies are so scared of losing their market share and unwilling to adapt like the music industry had to, they will try to make money with what they think is tried and tested. Not move on with new concepts. Sequels!! Pah!

(obviously not including Godfather part 2)

"Number of times I fell asleep."
I'm curious now to know what movies you've fallen asleep during!

i am yet to watch this :D

the reviews are good and they are different movie, so categorized may the key to successfull in theatre,thanks for sharing your information.

I liked the movie very much

wow ! wow ! great post and nice movie-review.
I love this movie-review.
thanks for share.

I can not wait for this. When you said this might have a lot of typos I felt your payne lol. I will be pre-ordering!!

Thank you for the review. appreciate @mannyfig1956

wow, it's called review dude. Good

very interesting post from you friend, thank you for sharing and success always for you. my greetings to you @hanshotfirst

I was really looking forward to watch this movie as I loved the first one.

Kingsman: The Golden Circle is as cheeky, cartoonish, and crazy as its predecessor, but it’s also commendably unafraid to demolish what had come before it if it’s in service of the story. The new dynamic between Eggsy and his team is great, and the Statesman prove amusing counterparts to these gentlemen spies from across the pond.

Good post! I am looking forward to watch this film!

I like the review you had given to movies. i love the first one
i found your review very honest .
like your post as well the movies.
keep posting .

Looking forward to watching this movie!

I am a movie freak thanks for review looking for to it :)

I caught the first one and thought it was pretty decent, but nothing fantastic. It seems to have a cult following today huh?

That church scene though. That was brilliantly done.

I dont think I have seen the 1st movie so from reading your review it makes me wonder if I will enjoy it or not @hanshotfirst I do like my action and even from the trailer I didn't see much action, I thought maybe they was saving it for the surprises but guess not.

@@ -4,16 +4,23 @@
nks for

Upvoted! I think you'll enjoy my Introduction

We at Community News agree that #1 was a lot of fun - and based on your review Han - will wait until #2 is on Netflix.

Simple story and lots of action .must watch this movie. Also follow my blog for more upcoming movies updates and upvote if u really like my content


Follow up for upcoming movies update .upvote my post if u like the content

:)) I soooo agree, good review

Thank you for share this movie review.

Congratulations @hanshotfirst!
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Very good blog really , follow and Upvote . Hope do same

Totally agree with you on this one. I loooooved the first movie and had high hopes for the sequel (especially with Channing on it, teehee!) but well, oh well. Can’t wait for Deadpool 2 though

I didnt watch the first movie but this i loved it. The most one i loved was miss poppy wow she is amazing

I couldn't agree more.

We all watched the first Kingsmen (one of us hadn't seen it yet) before going to the Golden Circle and we were all extremely disappointed in the film.

A 50 something Dad, 40 something Mom, 15 y.o. Son & 13 y.o Daughter each thought the second film had so much potential that was wasted by going in directions that weren't only unnecessary but downright nonsensical.

Yes, the extended cameo helped to salvage a bit of watchability.

Well, it's sad that it wasn't as good as the first one. Kingsman: The Secret Service was amazing in many aspects and, while I wasn't expecting the second one to be as good, I hardly expected an actual disappointment. I'll still watch it, but at least now I won't feel as let down thanks to your review.

I should have known when they included Channing Tatum.

The reality is so difficult that sometimes the point of making the inside of the chest love becomes helpless.

I can't forget the scene of Mark Strong's death. :(

I watch the movie it great but the relation of Pedro Pascal (Whiskey) with Julianne Moore (Poppy) are not shows effectively

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Good post. I love it all the movies you share. Movie that I like most is kingsman, I like the main actor in playing the movie. Thank you @hanshotfirst for sharing information :)


Well it's like they say a sequel's never as good as the original.
Nice review though keep it up


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god, I hated the original movie so much. It felt so... awkward (can't find a better word really..) from start to finish. Obviously I will pass on the sequel!

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