A Geeky Dad’s Movie Guide to Ralph Breaks the Internet (2018)

Last week my wife and I took our 13 year old son and 11 year old daughter to see a 100 minute long eBay commercial called Ralph Breaks the Internet. On the way to the theater I realized that although I recall liking the first one quite a bit, I don't actually remember exactly what happened. I started to worry that I might be lost while watching this one. Then I remembered... this is a movie for 10 year olds! I would be just fine. I was.

Some things I do recall from the first installment were that I found it quite original at the time and was very amused by all of the old-school video game references from my youth. Sadly, it seems that those were a one trick pony. The references in Ralph Breaks the Internet seemed incredibly forced. The entire first half of the movie seemed like the creators were checking off boxes on a checklist.

The second half seemed like the longest commercial for everything on the internet ever created. When making a movie like this, the creators have a choice: try to be authentic and clever by using real products and websites that people are familiar with, or be silly and create your own funny versions of those every day brand names. Sadly, the team behind Ralph Breaks the Internet chose the former. As a result, the entire second part of the movie felt like a long commercial for...

• eBay
• Disney
• Cisco
• Internet Movie Database (IMDb)
• Mashable
• eBay
• National Geographic
• eBay
• Amazon
• Twitter
• eBay
• Snapchat
• MySpace
• Facebook
• eBay
• YouTube
• Google
• eBay

I'm sorry. Did I mention "eBay" too many times? That's ok, so did this movie. I honestly could not believe what an important roll eBay played in the plot. But mission accomplished! My previously uninitiated daughter now knows all about eBay!!! Oh joy.

The product placement scene in Wayne's World is one of my absolute favorites!

I get the need for product placements in movies. Sometimes I actually find it fun to point out how perfectly a character holds a can of soda or how one happens to pause right in front of the name of the car maker on the back of their vehicle. But when it is overdone, it becomes an annoyance. These were down right aggravating.

So far we have a cliche movie, with formulaic recycled jokes and too many product placements. Sounds miserable right?

But it actually wasn't.

What saved Ralph Breaks the Internet?

Adorable Disney Princesses to the rescue!!!!

As the father of an 11 year old daughter who has repeatedly watched every Disney princess movie (that is no misplaced modifier... I mean both of us) I loved the princesses!

They made fun of so many of the things that I make fun of about them. But they did it in a fun rather than a snarky, "we are so cool we are making fun of our most popular money makers" way. Each princess wore a funny t-shirt that was an Easter egg to their movies. The song the princesses inspire adorable, little Princess Vanellope sings is one of the funniest things I have seen in a movie in a long time. If you don't mind a spoiler, check out "A Place Called Slaughter Race" on Youtube.

Speaking of Slaughter Race, that is the other saving grace of the movie. The characters were funny and the races were very cool. I actually liked these much better than anything in the ready Player One movie.

Because I hate spoilers, I can't say too much about the other scenes that take place in the Disney commercial portion of the movie. But I found the cameos hilarious. The Disney scenes made the movie for me.

So what is my final judgement?

Ralph Breaks the Internet is a mildly entertaining commercial for the internet. Because my daughter loved it and my son was entertained, it was not a waste of time or money.

Although there is no post credit scene there are some fun images and a hilarious song. Its sounds like a typical over-produced pop song... but it is so much more.

Geeky Dad's Movie Guide

Number of times I fell asleep: 0
Number of eye rolls: 5 (Too many forced jokes and product placements)
Number of face palms: 0
Number of times I checked steemit: 0
Number of times I said "That's ridiculous": 0 (It's a cartoon about video game characters. I knew what I was getting myself into.)
Did my kids like it: Yes!
Would I see it without my kids: No
Full price/Matinee/Rental/Free/Not worth the time: All depends on your kids. If they are hyped, it isn't a complete waste of time or money. If they can wait for the cheap theaters, it would be a fine way to kill time on a rainy day.

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