The importance of knowing how to listen

Learning to listen is not passive, but we shouldn't be the major topic when someone tells us their troubles.

Learning to listen is difficult. Sometimes we think listening and paying attention is enough.

Nothing could be farther from the truth. Consider a specific case. One buddy tells the other about her fight with her mother the day before.

The first is very worried, but her companion mentions a similar occurrence from her history after she finishes speaking.

Is she hearing him? Her compassion for others seems to be more about her own life.

Not listening to her pal.

We may have caused doubts. Do you listen well? You may be right when you think so.

However, highlighting our most typical listening blunders is crucial.

The example we just mentioned illustrates the first. Someone brings up a problem, and we discuss our past.

The second, more obvious, is to switch topics fast. And when our friend tells us about her fight with her mother, we'll say, "Um okay." And work is fine otherwise?

The third, subtlest approach involves saying insignificant things like "Don't worry," "It's nonsense," and "Everything will pass with time."

Finally, the fourth error is most common. We advise people and offer practical solutions.

As seen, the person who needed to speak out was not listened to in all the examples we discussed. His conversation partner focused on himself rather than her issue.

These situations can make us feel egocentric and like we're terrific listeners, but we're really talking about ourselves.

Listening involves attention, but it also requires taking into account the other's issues and not asking personal questions.

Give folks advise on what interests us, and we're not listening.

Since we are not in his situation, we can provide our opinion but not tell him how to behave or express himself.

If we do this, we inject our personality into their issue.

Either way, you must suppress your ego while listening.

Though hard to accept, you must mask your worries.

After learning the mistakes we make while we think we're listening, you need to learn how to listen.

Here are some critical keys to achieving this:

Never offer solutions: as indicated, don't advise others how to act. You can ask him questions that foster thought and decision-making. This helps them focus on their issues.

Become more engaged by asking questions that show your interest in the topic. Questions like "What do you think about this?" and "What are you going to do?" show you can connect without talking about yourself.

Avoid talking about yourself and focus on what the other person is saying. Talk about yourself just if she asks about your similar experiences.
Remember that the person informing you about their troubles is talking about something essential to them, even if it seems unimportant to you. Never reduce its importance.

Now you know how to listen without thinking about yourself, focusing on your dialogue partner.

We must abandon the assumption that listening is passive because it takes action. We must learn how to do it right.

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