What can be done to encourage the child?
Fear shaped human development. The first human, our ancestor from tens of thousands of years ago, was frightened by other forces, but he survived by using the skills and courage he developed from this fear. This first courage in the face of fear shaped the modern world.
Children learn by experimenting, discovering, creating, researching, connecting, and participating in their environment with all their senses. Sports and games teach kids the most about life. Children experiment and explore nature with adult help. Experimenting and experiencing helps people become brave and self-confident and succeed in life.
Do you want your kids to be brave and self-confident, but your fears are preventing them? Can you stop fear from taking over your life even when nothing scary is happening? Do you say "if only" or "good luck" often?
Fear can be overcome by a deeply desired goal. Goals, enthusiasm, and relationships help us overcome fear. Accepting fear as a normal emotion helps a person facing danger develop courage. Choosing between fighting and fleeing based on the danger builds courage.
Every mother worries. Unrealistic expectations and information increase anxiety. Anxious parents' facial expressions, voice, and body posture easily transfer to their children, causing them to worry too. You've experienced this.
Anxiety spreads and clouds your parenting goals. Can we expect our child, whom we prevent from playing with various concerns, to grow up with high self-confidence, courage against life, and a firm footing if we forget what is more important?
Research findings? The 2008 study "Every Child Has the Right to Be a Child: Mothers' Perspective" in 12 countries, including ours, shows mothers' expectations and concerns for their children. To illuminate this study's methods, we present some "Mothers' Perspective" findings:
Mothers in Turkey expect their children to gain "self-confidence" (59%; 20% for Americans) from living outside the home. 38% in Turkey, 60% in America, 31% in France expect social development, cooperation, and friendship.
Most Turkish mothers believe that playing outside in the park or garden makes their children happier and promotes healthy development. However, 83% of mothers worry about security.
Ignoring the scary situation, thinking it's nothing to worry about, prevents action. If there's no danger, we can do nothing. The terrifying situation persists outside of us. It survives our inaction. Then our fear comes true.
This research shows that while school success is important, parents worry more about their children's anxiety and fear issues. Although they care about how anxiety and fear affect their children, parents seem reluctant to create opportunities for them to overcome these fears.
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