Photo by @bengy

Sometimes, as a musician you end up in projects that where the artistic vision is at odds with your own creative wishes. What is the best way to deal with this?

My situation

I'm currently doing a project that is based around the Easter story of the Saint John Passion by JS Bach, read my thoughts on the piece here. So, the piece has been reworked to include a few contemporary classical pieces written for this production (at the beginning, middle and end of the Passion). In addition, there is a visual display behind the choir and orchestra. The choir and vocal soloists are also moving around the stage, partly acting out the story of the Passion and partly doing "interpretative movements". The orchestra is decent and the choir/soloists are great! The conductor is attached as part of the theatre production. Money is flowing everywhere...

My problems

First of all, they especially commissioned the construction of chairs for the orchestra (did I mention that they had money flowing out of every orifice?). These are the most painful things I've ever had to sit it! The seating area is shallow, if you lean back you get a couple of metal bars sticking into your back and the seating base is rubber (so after 2 hours, your arse is drenched...).

The production seems to think that silence is somehow abhorrent. There is no pause for contemplation at the most critical places in the Passion. For me, the moment after Jesus dies is such a moment, that is eventually broken by the most painfully joyful sad choral and aria. Every piece is done at a rapid pace, such that the d'amore soli are mad scrambles rather than a moment of beautiful weirdness, and the most heartbreaking moment (Tears overflowing) is sadly not as touching as it could be.

The visual display jumps between plain weird and confronting. Images of museum curators unpacking a painting of Jesus on the Cross are contrasted with X-ray images of mice that have been crucified! I can't say much for the acting/motion, it would have to be the sort of thing that you need to see from outside, but I have to say, theatre people are weird people!

The modern classical pieces are really not my cup of tea. I don't find chaos and squeaky noises to be moving or rewarding.

On the whole, the best I can say is that it is an incredibly well funded piece of artistic overindulgence (I have a different word in mind, but it is best to be diplomatic). The way I would describe it to a non musician, would be if someone took a literary work of art (Maybe War and Peace, but pick your own!) and decided it could be improved by making it into a picture and pop up book. It could work, but mostly not....

The trap and my approach

Wikimedia Commons

The trap that I've seen many musicians fall into (and other creatives) is to distance themselves. We tend to protect ourselves by committing ourselves as little as possible to the production if we don't agree with the artistic vision. I believe this is a trap, once we stop committing ourselves 100 percent to every performance, it becomes a habit. Before you know it, you are jaded and hating everything and contributing next to nothing to EVERY performance.

My tactic in these situations is to find little things to rejoice in and to take pleasure in, whilst realising that despite the artistic reservations, my job and my professionalism require me to make the vision work. Also, by hating everything, everything goes slower and is more difficult, so it is better anyway to focus on things that you enjoy!

What do I love in this production

My musician colleagues are great players. The arias are just beautiful, and they manage to extract as much meaning and beauty despite the interference from the conductor. I love playing the d'amore soli, they are always a joy to play! In the modern compositions, I am learning to remember techniques that I had forgotten in my ongoing specialisation in Early Music.

Finding the joy and fun in playing is paramount despite difficult times, it is the ONLY way to preserve yourself as a creative person!

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