Ok! Where do I start?!!

#1. I'm alive!

Sleep deprived but alive.

All that planning and I never really thought too much about the weeks following labour. Sure I planned for my recovery but not the fourth trimester, which is kicking my arse at the moment.

Recovery wise I was pretty much back to normal physically by the end of the first week. The real challenge has been adjusting to my new life being "Boobie" and "Beddie".

#2. Breastfeeding. What they don't tell you.

Most of the ladies I know breastfeed their kidlets. They talk about how much better breast milk is for the baby, all the benefits it gives to mum and bub but they don't talk about how bloody hard it is and how your nipples need to "warrior up" ~ my midwife's words ~ and that it takes about 3 to 4 days before your milk comes in...

I was in tears feeling like a failure of a mother at the start of my 2nd day when I was faced with a hungry newborn and nipples that were raw and falling apart. I seriously almost threw the towel in and sent Hubby out to buy formula but after a much needed pep talk and a DVD tutorial from my midwife I managed to stick it out.

3 plus weeks in and I wouldn't exactly say I have warrior nipples, but I'm slowly getting used to being Boobie.

My newest problem is colic.

#3. Colic Baby

It depends on who you ask and what you read as to what the

It took us a while to catch on but we realised the other day that she's having digestion issues which is the source of her random bouts of crying.

Seriously, her crying goes to another level. I sometimes feel like she's going to give herself a heart attack if she keeps carrying on like that.

It's been hard to deal with to be honest. Not knowing what the problem was and then not being able to comfort her, especially when she wants boobie for comfort and boobies are out of order cos they've been pacifier boobies for hours already..

After some research I came to the conclusion that I might be the source of her problems, that I need to change my diet and eat better.

The problem is with Hubby back to work and Bella being so clingy, I barely have time to do anything let alone prepare something healthy to eat. I pretty much have about 2 minutes, 3 minutes max from when I put her down to her realising I'm not there to do what I need to do before she starts crying.

So Hubby has taken control over my diet and the cooking and since realising she has colic I've been taking a different approach and have been massaging her back and feet when she starts to get fussy. I've also been making a little hot water bottle for her tummy that seems to help her in so many ways ~ she actually slept in her co sleeper for a few hours last night with her water bottle.

Since then we've noticed that she's more settled and content and cries less. Still cries, still manages to get to the uncontrollable level, but not as much.

3 weeks later...

Ok! So the above had been sitting in my drafts for the last 3 weeks. Yup this is my new life. Things get started and get finished when it gets finished.

I've been considering switching over to vlogs but that's kinda hard since everything's a mess these days ~ the house, the yard, me..

Since it's been 3 weeks since I wrote #1,#2 and #3 a lot has changed.

• My nipples got used to the abuse and have finally warriord up. I might actually last 18 months breastfeeding.

• Bella has settled down a lot. She still has her uncontrollable crying fits but only when she's super tired.

• Still eating better and healthier and have started taking multivitamins to supplement my diet since I don't get to eat lunch every day.

• On the plus side I'm only 8 kilos off my pre pregnancy weight now which is great considering I got up to 74kgs.

Over all motherhood has been good. It's a huge change from my previous life that's for sure. I have zero free time. I miss blogging, I miss my art. I miss eating at a leisurely pace.

But she's worth it.

She's just amazing you guys.

Sure she's only 44 days old but I can see her personality coming through already. I live for that smile. I know these newborn days will fly so I try to savour each moment. My blog and my art will always be there but these precious days I can never get back.

Hope you've all been well! I miss you guys!