How a careless teenager turned into a (step)mom - Part six - DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
'HOW A CARELESS TEENAGER TURNED INTO A (STEP)MOM'
(life of a girl who survived domestic violence and stalking, fighting for a better life)
Welcome to the SIXTH day I'm participating in the #monthlyauthorchallenge!
I'm really excited to join the challenge! Why? Because I would love to share some bits of my life with you.
I think it might surprise you and even shock you 😉
DAY 6 Domestic violence
No, I was't right..
Our family looked great on the outside, but what happened behind the frontdoor wasn't great at all.
I got the first hit when I was pregnant of Mirthe. I was so surprised I didn't know how to react or what to do. After a while I thought to myself 'NO, I'm not going to let this happen! He did it to the wrong one!' But then I looked at my belly. What should I do? If I'd tell a friend she would never let me get back together with him, the father of my baby. I would be a single parent before this baby was even born. If I didn't tell anybody he would get away with it. Of course he apologized to me later. He said he was sorry and that he would never do it again. I didn't believe him 100%, but I didn't know what else to do, so I forgave him.
It went well for a while, but he started to change after Lotte was born. He couldn't handle the responsibility of having a family to take care of. He was restless and was was getting more and more controlling. When I didn't agree with him, and start arguing with him, he would get aggressive. Of course I didn't wanted to fight in front of the kids so I had to keep my mouth shut most of the time. He was drinking more and more and I found out he was using drugs.
I couldn't believe I was in this situation... I was still Betty.. A girl who knows what she wants, who's not afraid, who loves to disguss things (and wins all of the time, don't I @fitzgibbon?😉 )
How could I be in this situation??
I started asking myself the question ' What's the least harmful thing to do for my kids? Stay with their dad and just take it as it is and make 'the best' of it, or should I leave and finally be myself again which means my kids will grow up without their dad... '
I didn't know the correct answer..
So I just did what I had to do. I took care of the kids, went to college a couple of days a week and did the housekeeping. I was in a difficult situation, but I felt like I had this fire inside me that couldn't be smothered by him.
Thank God I didn't get depressed. As soon as I walked out the door I felt great. And you know, there were times that we had a lot of fun together. I really loved this man and I knew how much potential he had.
But the alcohol and the drug abuse became worse. He wasn't functioning like a normal human being anymore.
D-DAY
Then there was this day he was being violent again. The neighbours could hear it and came to our door. My husband didn't want them to interfere and got violent towards them. They decided to call the police and my parents.
It finally became clear how bad the situation was..
I was so ashamed but relieved at the same time!
I decided to call my mother in law to come over so we could talk about it, and think about what to do with this whole situation. She started shouting at me as soon as she walked in the door 'you deserve to be hit! you're a bad wife' (I don't like to call anybody names.. so I won't..) My parents managed to stay calm. (Wow, my parents are the coolest people on this planet!) I went outside to my husband and asked him to join us so we could talk about it. He didn't respond.. I went inside and decided I had to take a break from this, so I could think about it myself. I decided to stay at my parents house for the weekend with the kids. I grabbed some clothes for me and the girls, and some important documents, picked up Lotte and walked to the car with my parents. Mirthe was at school. We'd have to pick her up from school later that day.
Then I heard this whistle.. I looked over my shoulder and saw my husband standing on the corner with an angry face shouting
'YOU COME BACK! RIGHT NOW!!'
Stay tuned!
-Thank you for your interest! I would love to hear something from you! Please leave a comment and I'll get back to you 😊 Hope to see you back tomorrow! Love you 😘!-
Yes honey, you are right 100% of the time, you are perfect, you are impeccable and you always win
Awwwwww thank you honey! You really know me!
LOLOL 😂👍😉
Awww You found a really smart man!
I wish.. I didn't find him like this.. I MADE him like this 👮♀️
Wow, I just can't believe the mother in law saying that! But maybe that would explain some of his behaviour too...I don't like to call names, but have my share of crazy ex parents in law...Mine tried to take my children....
Mothers in law should try to keep distance.. I do understand that's a hard thing to do (I'll kill the man who makes one of my daughters cry..😁)
But mothers in law can really destroy relationships by their interference.
Now, this mother in law was WAY over the line. Maybe I blame her even more for the whole thing getting out of hand then my ex-husband..
I have the same. I had some of my stuff (my mother's who had passed away) in his garage and he was making a big deal about giving it back to me. Then one day he agreed and had his mother watch me and my friend like a hawk when we went down to collect it. The mother was complaining that she had to wait so long and my friend remarked to her that if she would have raised her son better, we wouldn't be in this situation...The mother then came around and hit my friend...WOW (she hit back lol). When we were back in the car, my friend said: You were always complaining about your mom, but doesn't this put things in perspective? I was like: HELL yeah, just imagine: that could have been my mother...I would have killed her long time ago haha.
I had this dream once that I beated the crap out of that woman. Man, that felt good! Haha
(would never do such a thing in real life tough!)
haha, well, if it felt good in the dream then it was probably meant to be and prevented you from doing it in real life. Yeah, i would never do such a thing myself, but if that would have been my mother, I probably would have given her the wrong kind of meds lol.
Recognize a lot in this.. I was a victem too of thia kind of behavior.. too bad these persons dont see what is wrong with being abusive
I'm so sorry for you Anouk..
They really don't see. I still believe it has little to do with bad intentions
You are so strong for living through that & still being able to look for the best in the situation...you left me hanging! I will be back tomorrow!☺
Thnx! Working on part 7 this night😉