What to do if someone don't want to give back borrowed money?

View the original post on Musing.io

We've all been in that situation where people you borrowed something or lent some money failed to pay back. Some paid back in a later date with apologies for not being prompt. That's very understanding. But there are those who borrow money from you and won't give you reasons why they haven't paid back. They just maintain silence mode. They use avoidance as a strategy to avoid payment. Worse still, they would even take offense when you remind them. Some would go as far as reporting you in town that you are harassing them over the small amount of money you borrowed them.

It's a good thing when you borrow from someone and pay back as at when you say you would. That's really commendable. It shows that you are credit worthy. It's easy to lend things to such people knowing that they would not disappoint as they always pay back. That's integrity. There are those who are not able to pay back when they say they would and they wouldn't leave you in the dark about it. They will remind you that they haven't forgotten their agreement as to the debt they owe but for issues or reasons probably beyond their control, they haven't been able to meet up with deadline and as such are asking for an extension of payment date.

Some other people are in the habit of borrowing and never paying back. They either feign they forgot or assume that you don't need it since you didn't ask. Like seriously, they expect you to ask them? That's not nice at all. Some others would just not prioritize their debt and just think that you would eventually forget and that sets them free from the bondage of their debt. That's a sign that such people are uncultured. They are not credit worthy. Some keep piling up debt and that has earned them a bad name over time.

I had this friend who was really close at a point in my life. We shared a lot. Lived in same neighborhood, worked in same organization and we did most things together. When ever I buy myself things, I usually buy a second pair because of her. Otherwise, she would take mine. I noticed that she always borrowed and when it's time to pay back, we usually end up angry with each other. Once she asked me for some money. I didn't have it. I had to borrow from the money I was given to keep by my elder sister. Month ended and I was expecting her to pay back but she just kept mute about it.

My sister needed her money back and I had to make up for the difference. I kept asking my friend about this money but she kept saying she doesn't have yet and she would pay. Like I don't understand. Month ended a few days ago and you just received your salary. She kept saying that she didn't kill someone. She only borrowed some money and she would pay back. Truth is, she just didn't prioritize this debt because she expected me to pay for it and that wasn't our agreement. She even had the guts to ask for some more money when she hadn't paid the previous debt. The issue lingered for about two months. It almost caused a strain in our relationship. I had to let go and made up my mind never to ask for the money any more. She eventually paid back the money after three months because she noticed our relationship was going down the drain. That wasn't nice.

When you borrow people money or any other thing, there are certain things you can do to make them either return it or pay back their debt.

1. Remind them. Some people because of the way their minds are wired forget things. They have carried this attitude into other areas of their lives. Some deliberately and others not deliberately. Note if it's that kind of a person in your case and remind the person just in case they've forgotten so they can prioritize it in their budget and pay back.

2. Forget it. There are people who you keep reminding and they keep apologizing and promising to pay but they never do. As a rule, don't borrow out anything to anyone that you can't let go in case they failed to pay back. Instead of letting your relationship go down with the person's habits and inconsistencies and have them smear your name on the mud, give out only what you are comfortable letting go. If they pay back, all good. If they don't, you won't be disappointed.

3. Give them part of what they asked for. This is what I do when it involves money debt. You are not the last option people have even if they try to sound so or make you believe so. Don't let anyone put you in you're my last option mode just to exploit you. I'm not saying that you shouldn't sympathize with people's situation. Put yourself in their shoes and help them as far as you can. They would appreciate you giving them a part as a gift while they go borrow the rest from someone else. That way, you'll keep them in your respect for a longer time rather than have a constraint in your relationship with them.

4. Take note. Take note of those people who have the chronic habit of borrowing and never pay back. For peace sake, don't borrow them if you are not willing to let that thing go. Give it to them as a gift if you can. That way, they will not be indebted to you.

In my upbringing, my sister specifically warned me against borrowing things and waiting to be reminded before paying back. People's things don't pass the night in her house beyond the stipulated repayment date. She just feels uncomfortable and that she's passed on to me. Overtime, it's become a part of my excellence culture. When you borrow things from people, no matter how small it is, never assume that the person doesn't need it. It's okay when you return it and they tell you not to worry, it's better than withholding it and expecting them to forget. Pay your debts promptly as planned. It's even great if you can pay back faster than you already told them. They would be more likely and more willing to lend you when you need it next time. Be credit worthy. You will be held in esteem.