A Needed Kick In The Ass

in money •  3 months ago

This is an older question I answered on Quora. Seems appropriate now.

I was having lunch the other day with some people, and the conversation got to how they spend their free time. These guys weren't dead broke, but they weren't happy with how much money they had and weren't satisfied with the shape (physical condition) they were in either.

Now, unless these people have money, I mostly try listening because I think pretty different from most people about most things related to money and life. And most people don't want to hear my opinion about why they're disappointed with their results and how to fix them; they just want to bitch about how their results suck and that there's nothing they can do about it/the outcome was inevitable, and doomed from the start.

These guys were spending their free time going out 3-5 nights/week (they weren't 19 or 21 anymore either), they drink every day. They read zero books per year. They work the standard 40 hours per week and try to work less whenever possible. And they never go to the gym. Now, from my perspective these people deserved every fucked up output they got considering the inputs were complete shit, and I made the decision after the lunch was over never to go to dinner with these people again.

I want to make it clear first that I'm entirely receptive to people struggling and grinding it out and things not working. That's life, and when that happens, it sucks. If I can help, I will. I also want to make it clear that if you're not trying and the output is shit, you can just change the inputs. The problem is you.

From my personal perspective development is a pretty logical process that has an order. You start with habits because those set the foundation of what you're going to do with most of your time. It takes work because changing habits is a pain in the ass & occasionally it's not fun. Reversion to old habits is easy, and that's why most people quit.

Good habits are reading, exercising/productive hobbies, working, studying your field, quality family time, quality time with friends, etc. (That's mostly it)

Bad habits are drug/alcohol abuse, excessive partying, television, shopping, not working out, and shit that gets you nowhere just as quickly as the other habits get you somewhere. A little bit of any of those is fine; that means they aren't habits.

That's the basic gist of where you start. From there you can refine it if you're trying to accomplish something. You won't make one million dollars in 3 years if all those things aren't perfectly balanced. It'll be very close to impossible. That's fine if that's not what you're trying to do. But you should sit the fuck down and make sure that you've set yourself up reasonably to meet the goals you have so you aren't disappointed with an utterly predictable result. You're satisfied. And you shouldn't bitch uselessly and ruin other people's otherwise enjoyable lunches if all of the inputs of the system don't add up anywhere close to the desired output.

Accomplishing difficult tasks takes focus & tuning things out & relentless dedication and system optimization. My personal life isn't the topic of this rant, but it hasn't been perfect over the last ten years, and it has had no positive correlation with my success (you could make an argument for negative correlation). The worse things got, the better I did, and things got worse for me at various points than for most of you. So, for the most part, the bitching and excuses are unacceptable.

I understand when things are tough. And I know that not everyone wants financial freedom if it has a price tag on it called hard work. There's an old saying that people miss opportunities because usually it's dressed up in overalls & called work. Same thing. (Everyone wants financial freedom but it's hard to get it for free, and almost no one I meet is willing to pay the price.)

The point is to think about your life as a system and to focus on how to optimize the system. If income is revenue (money coming in) - expenses (money going out) then why does everyone focus on money coming in and totally ignore money going out? Both parts of the system are essential, and I'd argue the money going out is more significant than the money coming in. (You have more control over the money; therefore it is more important; just like volume is more important than profit.) One you control, one you don't.

If you rely on your body to focus and make decisions after 10 hours of concentration, then why do you treat your body like shit?

Why do you drink regularly?

Why do you smoke?

Why don't you hit the gym?


The way most people try to accomplish things is very one-dimensional and ineffective. To succeed you need to get AS MANY positive feedback loops moving in the same direction as possible. It's not THAT hard to accomplish what you want if you have everything going one way and pushing you down the conveyor belt towards some goal. When you're pulled in a bunch of different directions, and there's no consistent arch reaching across all the various components of your life THEN you can't expect to go anywhere quickly and should, in general, expect to be STUCK.

Everyone can do better, me too. But for myself at least I have my plan. I have how I'm going to get there, and I try to decide what road is best and optimize my systems to accomplish my goals. I try to figure out what is important (knowledge/family/health/time) and what doesn't matter (a new car/new watch). I try to carve out the useless shit and focus on what's important.

I could write for 15 more hours about how to optimize because this reaches into everything. I could write about different ways to accomplish different goals and get alignment within the system, but this is long winded already.

I want to leave you with the fact that it's OK to be ruthless in the pursuit of what you want. If someone is a waste of time or something is holding you back, you just cut it out like cancer and move on. It's too hard isn't an excuse. If you don't do it, then someone else who has the balls to will succeed where you fail.

Authors get paid when people like you upvote their post.
If you enjoyed what you read here, create your account today and start earning FREE STEEM!
Sort Order:  

Highest quality steem post I've read so far. It's an honor to call you a friend and mentor. Thanks for the wisdom.

Feeling you on this one @dhenz ! thank you for the UPLIFT...here on the steem blockchain! with your heart...words...and Steem Power!!!! Glad to see you got past....the first hurdles....and are doing as your words say...in this blog....."ruthless in your pursuit!" Please keep it coming....we are with you!!!!! -Jake


wow....thanks...that's the biggest upvote i've ever received since joining here...pouring out content... and powering UP!!!! truly appreciated!!! i'll pay it forward!!!! you're bringing some much needed fresh air....to the platform....THANK YOU! cheers to the best year ever for this blockchain....and all those on the ride here! re STEEMED!!!!!


My pleasure, I can see you putting in work.


WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! just....WOW!!!!!! you humbled the absolute....shit..... outta me today!!!!! first whale to take a look at my blog...that i know of. definite first for me...to receive... such generous upvotes!!!! thanks again....from our whole family here in Utah!!!! here's to hard work....!!!! thanks for setting the pace!

In other words, people need to start not being average and start surrounding themselves with like minded grinders aka stackers lol.

Lots of average people need to read this but most won't, they are busy doing average things :)

You are a person who is firm in thinking and acting and does not like nonsense, I think.

I read the article carefully and separated the important parts to get a better understanding. Why? Because your article is so amazing and very inspiring.

I like your mindset and policy in solving problems even in the midst of chaotic economic conditions. You are still a person who is strong and passionate in finding solutions. This is where your article's most expensive lesson is.

In connection with this, I took 5 big points from your article for life lessons.

First, the importance of maintaining health. Why should it? Of course, in a healthy body there is a sane soul, as the saying goes. And, sustenance will be easy to find with prime or healthy physical condition.

Second, stay away from things or habits that are wrong and do not provide benefits to our lives. (Things that damage health and soul)

Third, the importance of someone having good financial management related to money in and out. And, you emphasize that money comes out far more important than cash. Why? Because that's where someone's financial balance lies. Or in other words, living as needed.

Fourth, I think you are a professional writer with very brilliant ideas and language flows like water that flows freely without facing obstacles.

Fifth, you leave a message to the reader very beautifully to follow up that it's okay to be cruel in pursuing what you want. And your mean cruelty is to be firm and brave to take the opportunity instead of running away from reality. In other words, be a brave person.

Thank you friends for giving us so much knowledge and life experience. And I personally say thousands of thanks for this extraordinary enlightenment.

...Now, from my perspective these people deserved every fucked up output they got considering the inputs were complete shit,...

lol that’s taugh, but it’s true. You know what? Without sacrifice, without hard work and patience, there can be no victory, there can be no reward. Just a few hours ago I read post about bitcoin and overall crypto not going anywhere but down since bitcoin’s futures and Wall Street’s manipulating ways came into game. I don’t believe it, but it makes you wonder. Then I read your post and all my mood got right back where it supposed to be and I realized that this previous post was just a waste of time. The reason I’m invested in crypto is not mainly to become a millionaire in any short time or ever, the main reason is that I just lost trust in fiat currencies. Look at Venezuela or now Turkey and many more. US is next and I’m sure about it. When? I don’t know, but I believe it’s very soon. I’ve been buying slowly for about a year and I’m still buying. These prices are in my opinion really low to ignor it. That’s where I’m and where I believe I’m supposed to be along with my plan set for a long term. Your writing skills are really great, just as good as your previous videos. I’m glad you moved here from Quora to write.

Life is important money and that's a very beautiful post i appreciate your valuable post and very good writer of my favorite post. thanks for sharing your blog

"When you're pulled in a bunch of different directions, and there's no consistent arch reaching across all the various components of your life THEN you can't expect to go anywhere quickly and should, in general, expect to be STUCK."

So in your experience it's better to focus your energy on a few things rather than many.


Like a rocket firework, start thin and when you get to the top diversify.


Interesting analogy.

I imagine you're watching/buying certain coins during this downturn? Would you share which of those have the highest upside potential in your opinion?

I am a little late to the party but I just want to say that was a fantastic write up. I try to grind this shit out every day here and add every day. I try to learn something new wveryday about trading, crypto, general processes of things to see if there is an angle that noone is using. Like you said you have to prioritize and cut out the cancer when you find it. Thanks for coming to steemit, I think I will enjoy following your blog.

I try to figure out what is important (knowledge/family/health/time) and what doesn't matter (a new car/new watch). I try to carve out the useless shit and focus on what's important.

totally ! been working to cut down lots of things that doesn't matters (distraction time vampire) like mobile gaming, browsing social media causally etc and focus on productive important stuff that increase income.

here lies the problem @dhenz, those energy vampires, feeding of the time and attention of others while distributing the concentrated pollution of their weak mindset and poor strategy at the same time, trying to makes it go from bad to worst for each other and all around

but what i see is this, your heart and mind is like a jujitsu master, you took the hits, akido that outcome to lesson learnt, and channeled it to help so many others, like myself and all those who are reading here soaking up the positive vibrations of truth, realigning our core believes in the process and firing out our cylinder that are were previously not pumping

it's most likely, all us seeker of wisdom will need some part of the message you are sharing more than others, they just need to take the ones that matter most, apply that, without excuses and unnecessarily delays, and start the transformation

peace and ruthlessness be with you always,

I really enjoyed reading your article and it totally resonated with me.

I always try to help others but if they’re not helping themselves then I just leave them.

Most people just complain about things that are in their control like government and weather.

I can’t remember when is the last time I drank alcohol and I stopped smoking when I was 19.

I’m self made and you definitely sounds like a selfmade!

I’m extremely happy to have you here with Steem DApps:)

I would travel as a good habit. Amazing way to expand your mind.

Thoughtful and motivative write up. Lately I returned to gym and started going there almost every day now.

Thank you very much for your post. Although I cannot agree on everything you said.
I just had some time where I was not happy with my life but I didn’t change anything. Why?! I don’t know, but I think people need to suffer for some time before they are willing to change. I know that sounds stupid but if you don’t feel the dark places inside you you cannot enjoy the light ones. In my Situation it felt like a mental block for some time which I could not change in the beginning. The moment I accepted the situation and let the energy take its way, my life changed in the sense that a lot of things worked out out of a sudden. I believe that you should trust your gut feeling also when your brain says it is a bad idea. It will lead you in the right direction.

Thanks for your message, inspiring