Can Money Buy Happiness or Love... or Just Illusions?
Writer and one-time Texas gubernatorial candidate Kinky Friedman once observed: "Money can buy you a fancy dog, but only love can make him wag his tail."
Our dog Daisy wags her tail for LOVE not for money
Whereas many people with money may be happy they have it, can money actually buy real happiness or real love?
I have my doubts... in spite of the fact that I have met no shortage of people who are ready to argue the point with me. I take that with a grain of salt, knowing that most of them seem to be chronically broke, so "the grass on the other side of the fence" looks mighty green to them.
Illusions... and Reality
Seems to me that what money does buy is the illusion of happiness and love, and money also buys such things as a measure of security and comfort, along with lower levels of worry concerning how one's basic needs are going to be met.
So what about love?
From where I'm sitting, the heart of whether money can-- or cannot-- buy love lies the issue of "conditionality." The kind of love we value most highly in life is UNconditional, but the kind of "love" we can buy with money is very much conditional. Let's face it, if someone loves you "because you have money," how real is that? And if that love also goes away when your money goes away-- how could that "love" really ever be regarded as anything but an illusion?
What DOES Money Buy Us?
But to keep the skeptics happy, let's examine for a moment what kind of happiness money possibly does buy.
A Cabbage White butterfly
Undeniably, it could be argued that some measure of happiness may be gained from the security we feel when we have money in the bank.
That said, for many people, the deepest forms of happiness and satisfaction are actually derived as a result of "earning" something rather than purchasing it. By extension, there is often a certain emptiness that goes alongside purchased happiness.
Another factor that suggests money may not buy happiness lies in the fact that many people with lots of money don't spend much time actually enjoying the fruits of their labor. Instead, they tend to continue on an eternal quest to make-- or acquire-- ever more money in search of that "something" that will make their lives feel perfect. And that's hardly much of an endorsement of the idea that these wealthy folks are "happy and content" with their lives-- lives that are already filled with money.
The purple flowers in our garden make me happy
Reality Check
To someone who's broke, these arguments may seem like a load of hogwash-- and it's certainly true that poverty is typically a source of stress and UN-happiness.
However, the simple fact that poverty makes us unhappy does not automatically imply that wealth makes us happy. There are many wealthy people who are not at all happy. Those among them who pause to think about their situation, and their lives and ambitions, and the people they are surrounded by often comment that they are never quite sure why people are in their lives.
Are their friends just there for a free ride-- or because they are truly liked? Do their lovers truly love them, or just what they can buy those lovers?
So... DOES Money Matter?
According to a by now fairly famous 2010 study done at Princeton University. it was revealed that people's general happiness and life satisfaction does not materially increase once we (the study was of people in the USA) have about $75,000 a year in annual income.
Chives in bloom
The study-- carried out by economist Angus Deaton and psychologist Daniel Kahneman analyzed the responses from 450,000 Americans, gathered over a two year period.
What's important to keep in mind here is that the study looked specifically at happiness vs. the amount of money people had, but not at whether people thought themselves "successful" or "well off." The $75,000 number can best be regarded as the level at which money "no longer matters," in terms of whether someone feels happy about their life, or not.
Ultimately, your personality and temperament will have a significant bearing on the degree to which money can buy you "happiness..." or not.
Some people are genuinely more attracted to "things" than to "people," and for them money may buy a measure of authentic happiness. And, because they are not that interested in people, the sort of pseudo-love money can buy might suffice for them.
However, for most people, that really can't be characterized as authentic happiness, and the purchased "love" would leave them feeling very empty.
How about YOU? How important is money in your life, in terms of giving you happiness? Do you agree that after a certain point where your basics are covered, having more money wouldn't necessarily make you happier? Or do you think money CAN buy authentic happiness and/or love? Leave a comment-- share your experiences-- start the discussion!
(As always, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)
I have always been a fan of Maslow's hierarchy of needs as an explanation of what the basic level of needs are. Once we achieve the basic needs then we start to become self actualized and eventually start to think about how we can help others. Unfortunately psychologists involved in marketing/advertising have been employed and often seek to trap people in certain stages of this theory. You can see this when people have to have the latest gadget or some car that is inline with the status level in society they feel that are in. Money is just a tool and the more you seek it for comfort the more it starts to own you. Money can insulate you from reality and make you think you are more important than you really are.
This article reminds me of this quote:
"A fool and his money are soon elected. "
-----Will Rogers
Maslow's hierarchy does add an interesting layer... and, as you pointed out, much of marketing revolves around convincing people who actually do have the basics covered that they actually don't have those basics covered and should be striving for more.
However, it doesn't always seem to apply, which I find curious. I used to go to quite a few self-development and "enlightenment" type workshops and retreats, and it was often interesting to see how many participants had paid $300 to do something they would most likely have been better off using to get their broken car fixed, or even get themselves caught up on their bills.
I agree mostly. I have never thought that money would automatically bring happiness. What I do think is that money, which you mention above can bring security and remove some level of stress. If you have less things to worry about because you do not have to worry about money then you have the potential to be happier.
Of course in most cases what really probably happens is that you move on to a whole load of spurious worries after the money isn't one. :0)
For us, a couple of "big things" was paying off our house, and owning our car outright. Ironically, it makes us "bad consumers" in this country to not have a bunch of debt... but that's the kind of "security" money can buy. And in this case, it's security that comes from NOT having to make and pay that money... and it allows us to spent more time in pursuit of more creative things that generate inner peace and contentment... and working on art and creativity.
Oh yeah. They absolutely do not want you not in debt! My mortgage still has a ways to go but I am looking forward to the day!
@denmarkguy, In my opinion. Money actually as tool to make our life is easy. Money is important but not the most important thing, also without money our life become hard. Sometimes people in third or development country have difficulty about money event they kill themself because economical reason. IMHO the cause they kill themself because lackness of concern other person to unlucky people. In the other hand in advanced country mostly people committed suicide because they fell empty in their life for example robbin william and tommy page. Sorry I want make longer comment but I must go.... Anyway. Nice ! :)
@happyphoenix, thanks for your thoughtful comment!
I agree that life can be quite hard and unhappy when you struggle to even make the basics. When I was younger (early 20s) I spent a little while sleeping on a bench in the part because I had no place to go for a few months... not easy, at all. Interestingly enough, the experience gave me more of an appreciation for how important friends are... they eventually offered me a place to stay.
These days, money is important enough for me to appreciate the basics, but I also know what "enough" is... and once that "enough" is taken care of, happiness comes from within, or from my interactions with the world.
On Steemit, money buys you the ability to be a fascist abuser of power :P
And there you go-- there's probably a (non-scientific) study hiding in there, somewhere: The Steemit infrastructure and rewards system as a sorting mechanism to determine people's philosophical approach to life.
It depends on what makes a person happy. If material things can make him happy, then definitely money can buy it. But real happiness does not come from material things because these things will only lead a person to more desires, a unending desires which results to dissatisfaction.
Yes, and that's sortof the point I was trying to make... money used to buy "things" essentially buy a temporary illusion of happiness because it seems that once one piece of material goods has been bought, there's an endless string of more acquisition required.
Money can't buy happiness, but it can rent it for a little while! It's also more comfortable to be miserable in a Mercedes than a Yugo!
Agreed, to some extent. My own brief times of "having money" taught me that it can buy a reduction in stress and a measure of comfort. That said (and personally speaking, it's actually sort of poignant), fact remains that I was still crying in that Mercedes, so having it clearly didn't fix my life...
After I get my house and car paid off I will be much more relaxed in terms of my financial situation. Does that mean I will be happier? Not exactly. I can choose to be happy with my current circumstance because happiness is brought about by progress. As long as I am progressing as a spiritual entity, that makes me happy, even if I am broke. Money doesn't bring happiness but it sure makes it easier to focus on being happy rather than digging out of debt. Thanks for sharing!!
Yes... much of what I feel, too. When we got the house fully paid for (and we own our car, too), there was a sense of relief and peace with that... which creates an easier framework within which to pursue happiness.
Money definitely gives me comfort but I wish it did not exist. I do understand that we have to have a medium of exchange for the world to operate.
@hilarski, I think money is a totally nifty thing as long as we keep it in the context where it belongs: It's a temporary store of value. If I have chickens and I need plumbing done... it allows me to not have to worry about finding a plumber who needs 10 dozen eggs at the exact time my toilet backs up.
The problems arise when we start "idolizing" money as a thing that has a life of its own, separate from being a means of exchange.
Hello @denmarkguy! Really good post, enjoyed it!
Thank you!
I would say it cannot buy authentic happiness nor love. However the flip side is that the lack of money aint no cake walk either lol.
It would be hard to be loving and happy when constantly locked in survival mode.
Plus money can buy a boat and that's pretty close to love LOL...The Chris Janson song "Buy Me a Boat" has some lyrics with pertinent sentiments to the topic at hand!
Nice post as always.