Are You Afraid of Money?

Heights. Flying. Snakes.

Money?

It might not sound like an obvious thing to be afraid of. After all, money makes the world go round, right? But I would argue that many people do harbor an irrational fear of money, along with the wealth and success that it helps signal.

Why is that? How can it be?

• Childhood Lessons

I think much of it has to do with upbringing. Too many of us suffer greatly from the financial education, or lack thereof, that we receive early in life. Our parents may be meaning well when they pass along old adages like “money is the root of all evil” or “do what you love and you will never work a day in your life”. But there are side effects that come along with the cues that many of us receive about the role of money in the world. No matter how much training in business or finance that we later receive down the line, it can be very difficult if not impossible to unlearn all of these lessons.

Upbringing has so much to do with the fact that way too many people seem to go through life just living hand to mouth, really just barely able to make ends meet. They don’t do this because they don’t have talent or because they don’t have any opportunities to seize. They do it because they truly are afraid. They are afraid of success and they are afraid of money. I have seen it too many times. I have seen those who self-sabotage their own efforts when they fail to hit an obstacle or boundary from external sources.

One friend of mine has had many successes throughout his life, some greater than others. And yet he too shares this same self-destructive tendency. He always seems to find a way to alienate those around him and create enough grief that his partners don’t want him around. Even as I have tried to discuss it gently with him, he is simply close minded to it and won’t accept it. It’s everyone else’s fault, in his view, not his own.

Many others have been raised to think of money itself as a bad thing. There surely is a place for modesty and thrift in all of our lives. Many parents no doubt want to ensure that their children have talents and interests that aren’t solely focused upon making a dollar at the expense of broadening their character. But the proper balance is often not struck and children receive the message that to aspire to wealth is uncouth or indicative of being a bad person. This may stem from resentment or jealousy. It may come from being working class and not seeing a viable pathway to ascending the economic ladder. But it is absolutely poisonous and counterproductive to the goal of encouraging our children to reach for as high as their sights can take them.

• Self Image

Over time we begin to instill in ourselves a self-image that we are not people of wealth. And we follow that notion to the natural conclusions of not thinking outside the box on how we can increase our assets. We tell ourselves that it is greedy or selfish to aspire to money. And we begin to accept living a second-rate life in which we are not able to pursue our dreams or do the things that we love to do. Being wealthy is about creating space in your life, abundance and prosperity that allow you to fully harness your highest gifts and make an impact on your community and those you love. I don’t see anything unseemly or wrong about taking the journey that will lead you to this place.
It may mean unlearning some of the habits and assumptions that you took on as a child. There is a lot to be said for growing up in a modest family for the way it can ultimately drive many to succeed while keeping them in touch with down to earth values. But you may also have to learn that it is okay to aspire to something bigger. It may have not even been words that gave you these ideas, but the simple cues sent to you by living in a modest home that have told you that it would be disrespectful to want to aim for a different level of success.

• Fear of More Means Settling for Less

For many of us, more wealth might signify more risk. We might shy away from taking a big risk or accepting a new opportunity because we are uncomfortable with being on the high wire and set up to potentially not succeed. Many of us instinctively gravitate to a strategy of spending less and being frugal, because this fits in with our notions that spending is bad. By holding onto all of your money, you may even be able to cling to the comfort of still feeling like you are living a certain modest type of lifestyle.
In truth, the most important part of amassing wealth involves adding more money coming in rather than simply watching every penny. How many people go home from work and never think to use their gifts to go to work for themselves in their free time? We all have more time and ability than we really think. What holds us back is our mindset that tells us that we owe complete loyalty to an employer rather than diversifying our income sources. Savers are often afraid not only to spend, but afraid to earn more money. It’s not necessarily that they wouldn’t take a raise, but they may never take the initiative to launch their own hustle or business idea.

My definition of Wealth Freedom is creating enough passive income to satisfy the lifestyle I choose while at the same having my net worth passively grow at the same time. When you do this, you have freedom, Wealth Freedom!

• Break Through!

So what can you do to begin to open your perception of wealth and cast aside your fears about succeeding? It begins with letting go of guilt. Don’t let your sense of justice about inequality prevent you from striving for the very best for yourself. Remember that philanthropists like Bill Gates and Warren Buffet had to first build their financial empire in order to give back and improve the lives of so many others. There’s nothing incompatible about being a solid business person and contributing altruistically to society with the bounty of what you have achieved. Don’t let a nagging sense of unfairness stop you from helping others down the line. It may help to do some volunteer work. You not only will be able to feed your soul if you are yearning to engage in service opportunities, but you will also see how almost every non-profit or altruistic organization is dependent upon cash flow and revenue to function. You will see firsthand how much greater an impact you can have with a million dollars than you can through simply good intentions. It’s impossible to save or help others if you need to be saved or helped yourself.

Wealth doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you a person with options and resources. By conquering your fears of success, you can go on to conquer so much else. You can attain Wealth Freedom, it a simple process you can decide to take charge of. So start today.

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