How to deal with any problem

in mindset •  8 months ago

This is a framework and mind set that will help you deal with any problem that you have.
Of course , I don’t claim that you will find a solution, but you can have a three step process, that can guide you through any problem.

mindset.png

So, as I mentioned it’s a three step process as shown in the graph below. Most people, miss completely step three and this causes them a lot of negative emotions.
Here’s the little graph I prepared and then some thoughts on it.

So, you have a problem. Can you do something about it_.png

Do something about it

First step is to ask yourself. Can I do something about it ?
If the answer is yes , then go ahead and do it.
You may ask, what if you know you can do something and you don’t do it? Well, this could be a whole another series of articles. I am here for the long run, so stay tuned.
For the shake of the article let’s say that there nothing (else) you can do about it.
What can you do next?

Ask for help

If you cannot do something to deal with your problem, then you will have to find someone else that can do something about it. In this case, you will also have to convince him or her to help you. How can you do that ? You guessed right… In another article. Here we are focusing in the process.

In the unfortunate case that there nothing you or anyone else, can do about the problem then there are two basic options…

But know why…

First option is to accept it.
Second option is to quit ( or leave ).
In both cases, you have to know why you accept or quit and this is the step that most people miss and this causes them anger or frustration in the first case or sadness and bitterness in the second case.
If you are able to find out YOUR why on your choice then you are in peace with your decision and carry on with your life, without any drama.
Basically, your why is an underlying value than you have and when you find it you will be able to put up with a situation or walk out right away. This value can be found by asking yourself questions like “why this is important to me” or “what do I gain from this”. In NLP, we call this Hierarchy of Ideas (H.O.I.) and I will speak in more details in an upcoming post.

Example

Let’s say you are in a job that pays you little and they give you all kind of shit every day.
You cannot do anything about it or anyone else.
You may quit. Then you start to say they forced me out and this not fair blah, blah.
Or you could ask : “why it is important for me to quit” and find an answer that could be you value self esteem highly. No more sadness, you are proud of yourself to quit.
You might stay. Then you whine and play victim. ( some can guess that I have a thing with whiners… ). What if you ask “what do I gain from staying in this job” and find an answer that this is your only choice now to feed your family and your family is of utmost importance to you ? Things get easier.

That was a rather simple yet powerful three step process to deal with our problems. Wish we would not have any problems, but we have. And knowing why we do what we do, can ease many emotions and help us go on with our lives.

And until we all deal with our problems,
Be healthy , smile and Steem !

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Acceptance is something most of us find hard to achieve. Getting to the why is easy, but dealing with it is not...

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You are right.
Even though, I have noticed that finding the real or deep why is not as easy as it seems. It takes some guts.
And of course, dealing with what you've found is even harder.

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Oh, I believe tha despite how much we don't want to admit it to ourselves, we always know the why. It's not so much about finding it, it's more about letting it show. That's why dealing with it is harder.

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Indeed, your unconscious mind knows and it gives your signs.

Sometimes it's difficult making decisions but all I will say is that when you find yourself in a situation, you have to be critical about it and make a good decision or else you get fucked up. I've found myself in such a delima before. I allowed my emotions to control me and I made a very bad decision but since then, I learnt my lessons from it. Thanks for sharing

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When emotions take hold of you, it's better to dissociate and keep the proper distance.
Thanks for reading the post.

Great job as always.

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Thank you. :)

Nice job. will really help and very applicable. ^_^

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thank you . :)

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i followed you sir. Pls follow me too so i can re steemed and upvote everytime you post . Thnks

comes with Understanding your problem and knowing you're beyond it...

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and it doesn't identify you as a person. you're right.

Things get complicated only if someone is not adaptive to the idea of rejection. Failure and rejection are both natural and reasonable in life. Success follows only after consistent effort and failure. The difference between a master and a beginner is that the latter has no idea how many times the master failed in order to reach their current level of expertise.
Failing to solve a problem should not impact our emotional integrity and psychological stability, it's all part of the growth process.

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As we say in NLP ( and I am sure NLP is not exclusive to the idea ) , there no failure only feedback.
Failed ? No problem ... Learn your lesson and get on with your life.
Failure has to do nothing with your identity.

acceptance AND change of perception is essential.
Whiners, I could write a whole bible on that haha

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this is a good idea then for post(s).
just don't whine about whiners. :)

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Funfact from the Caribbean about whining

“Whine is defined by a Caribbean dance expert as the thrusting or rotating of the pelvic girdle in a rhythmic pattern.

In the context of Caribbean culture, whine is a genuine regional dance form.

Unlike other genre of music that inspires the feet – such as “salsa’’, “kweyol’’ and “tango’’ – the dancing of soca music inspires the rhythmic movement of the waistline, more than any other body part."

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You can always find something positive, even in whining...

really truthful post happens with every person in day to day life if we people follow these three steps then our life will be successful and happy lovely post and author

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I appreciate your kind words.

wow amazing after reading your article my mind clearly change and fresh... God bless you man keep posting nice articles :)

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I am really happy to have changed your mind. :)

the fun part is that some people follow this logic unconsciously!

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We do a lot of things unconsciously and when we realize what we do, it goes up to a whole another level.

Wonderfully simple way to work through your problems. I think too many people fail at the first step however - it's a problem where they can do something, but they never take action. And then there are those who are unable to ask for help - they inevitably fail on the second step or never get there because they continue trying to solve the problem themselves, even when this isn't possible.

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I have noticed from myself that when I don't take action there is a good/strong why and I realise it when I take the proper distance.

Great post and very helpful as well :)

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Thank you Elia. :)

Truth lies in simplicity.
When we complicate things it is difficult to find any solution.
Thank you Ilia, great post!

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Thank you Katerina.
And simple doesn't mean easy.
Most of the times it's the complete opposite .

Ekpiktiko post... eina para poli wraio...

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ευχαριστω νικο . :)

Will problems ever end?

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The problem with problems is not the problems themselves but our attitude.
The problems will never end and I have no problem with that . :)

I think Albert Einstein said "No problem can be solved from the same kind of thinking that created it". So innovation and creativity can always help you find a solution!

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The difficulty lies when people have to throw away the old way of thinking and create new.
Tougher than it seems.

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Well that's true, I can't disagree with that, but when where is a will, when you are determined everything is possible.

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Sometimes together with the will, there's has to be the way.

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Very well said @iliasdiamantis! I like the diagram you used, it's a very good visual to help absorb the content of your post even easier!

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Thank you. I am happy when someone actually uses the content.

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You are welcome. Yes, applying what we learn is essential!

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Enriching other people's model of the world is way more important to me. :)

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We are on the same boat @iliasdiamantis :)

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