You Could Leave Life Right Now. Memento Mori.

The other night I was feeling bored.

It was 2:30am and the idea of sleep was not even a vague hope. Boredom oscillated with lethargy, forming a brutal duo of insomniac agitation. I could not have been less asleep.

My room was cold as fuck, even in April the weather was in winter mode. I was bugged about that, and feeling bored and frustrated by the entire situation. I wanted to sleep so I could be well rested for the next day and it was. not. happening.

So I opened up Twitter.

Twitter -> Death

The internet is all about extremes: Sex, death, scandal, obscene displays of wealth, etc.

That night it was death. There were a bunch of comics tweeting their love and appreciation for Mitzy Shore, the legendary businesswoman who launched the careers of hundreds of comics over the decades. With a little digging I found confirmation that she was in hospice.

It was an interesting mindfuck because I’ve heard a lot about this person over the years. It felt powerful to see all these comedians who I look up to, all tweeting such heartfelt stuff.

Compared to all that, my own boredom melted away. I was imagining my own situation, comfortably in bed in my room on a normal night, and comparing that to the situation of somebody else in their final days of life.

My own insomnia didn’t seem like such a bad affliction anymore.

Memento Mori: Remember You Will Die

This story is a basic example of that classic stoic catchphrase, Memento Mori, or “Remember You Will Die.”

Another version is: “You could leave life right now.”

This stuff is brutal, I know. I may lose a few followers from this post’s title alone. To be honest though I can’t find it in me to do any “trigger warnings” for death, a subject we all are surrounded by. The older I get, and I am not even old yet, it’s clear that we cannot hide from this topic.

I think it is a good thing to remind oneself of the reality of death from time to time. It definitely will push you to be more mindful.

And while I wish I could exclusively do fun posts on the joyous aspects of mindfulness, this is another side of the coin. Being aware of what it is to exist, involves learning not to hide from some rough truths.

The memento mori mindset helps me to remain grateful for my current cirucmstances.

So, to finish the story, I turned off my phone. After reading about the woman in hospice, I felt like a dumb idiot to be laying in bed and complaining about insomnia. I was plagued with the gift of too much consciousness, a bit of extra awakeness for the night, and I complained?

I spent an hour on artwork. It yielded a fun photography piece:

After that, I felt better. I laid back in my bed and fell asleep.