Million Dollar Challenge

Thank you @puravidaville for your challenging question: what would I do with a million dollars?
Let me respond by asking: what have I done with a million dollars?

I’m a fairly old man… that being said, my first million came in small increments over the course of a larger amount of years. Easy come, easy go. I found out at an early age that my realistic goals could be achieved with minimal effort, and since my standards weren’t unrealistic, my effort was often held to at a minimum level.
It also took a minimum amount of effort to spend a maximum amount of money...that being said, I was blessed with a wife who had no problem spending money, and who could always be counted on to spend every last cent that we had. At times there was hardly enough left over to support my modest vices. The first milly went fast.

So what would I do with another million....right here, right now?

Fortunately, I’ve had experience in blowing money so I realize that the first thing to do is head to Vegas. With a million bucks in my pocket, I’m already a loser. There is so much potential for a guy like me to parlay fortune into misfortune that even as I win, the odds are stacked against me. Put a million bucks in my pocket and although it took one of the most valiant efforts in my life to abandon cigarettes, I would be smoking Cuban cigars by the end of the night.

That same devil who gifted me with a million dollars in the first place, would surely curse me in games of chance, but first things first...
before I hit the tables I need to feast on a nice thousand dollar dinner and drink massive amounts of alcohol in order to take the edge off. It isn’t easy being an instant millionaire...oh hell...I’m gettin some hookers and some designer drugs too...party time!

Ok...now I’m ready to party.
As soon as I begin gambling I start winning more money. Before I know it, I have three more miserable million dollars at my disposal and I'm barely two hours in. I’m gonna need help. I feel like I’m living a fantasy here so just to make sure...lets get more drugs, alcohol and designer ladies. I acquire more party accoutrements because I realize I’m gonna need some friends to help me get through this dilemma: I seem to be developing a rather severe buzz inside my head and who are these women hanging all over me?

Well I’m no fool, so it don’t take me long to figure out that I gotta get out of this town. I now have twenty seven million dollars and an entourage that Barnum and Bailey would be proud of. How is it it that even though I’ve never met any of these fools before, they all call out my name? Oh well, the perils of being rich.

Ima have to get me a bus to haul my shit now.
Ok...I gotta go now. Now that I’m rich I aint got time for y’all. Money didn’t turn me into a prick.... It just made me a rich one.

Ok...fantasy time is over.
It’s obvious that you should give the money to someone that needs it.
Someone a bit more responsible?

We all end up getting the things that we truly shoot for. I could have accumulated many more material trinkets in life but then I’d have way more to get rid of. One of my best friends essentially told me I should pay someone to haul away most of the stuff I already have, but If anyone knows where I could get a million dollars worth of time,I would be happy to share a bunch of it with you. Maybe we could scrape up a few bucks and go on one of those cruise ships. You would think an old guy like me should be able to stay out of trouble on a nice, sensible little cruise...

Oh my...Is that my name I hear them calling