Well, after men choose to go there own way, they tend to work on self-actualization because everyone needs to have goals and things to work on, but they do not do it for a woman, as they are not going to get married. However, based on your questions I can tell that you want to improve yourself so that you can be a man who can please a woman, you want to improve yourself for her. Each to their own, if pleasing a woman and getting words of appreciation in return is enough to give your life fulfillment, then that is what you should do.