Read between the lines.

Every journey begins and ends with something, at this point in life I've come to realized that not everyone you considered as a friend can be trusted.
I've learned it the hard way, just when you thought that you've found your comfort and be complacent. Everything tears you down to pieces, bit by bit.

I've come to a point where I am so disappointed that I no longer trust and believe anyone, trying to distance myself to everyone.
Limiting my interactions and showing no signs of interest at everything.

From now on, I will put myself first and leave no traces of being vulnerable. I will only focus on myself and do my best to be better at everything.
I will religiously submit myself to attain growth beyond my capabilities, accepting every challenge that goes my way as long as it can be beneficial to me.

I don't care what you may think or say about me, you may call me selfish and self-centered. It doesn't matter to me anymore, I've come to my breaking point.
I will build my wall so high that climbing it or tearing it down would seem impossible.

I want an escape, to find my solace. Distance myself from all the drama and those who create it, shutting myself down to those kind of people.
I will be surrounding myself with a positive crowd and at the same time trying not to drift away from my principle.

This may not be the best way but this is the only way I know that will let me achieve my goal. I know there are many ways to achieve it without going through all of these but let me be, let me do it my own way. It's my life anyway.

I may take your advises but not today, I am so damaged that the pain is so deafening. It disables my ability to listen to anyone for the time being.

I hate what I've become, there is no one to blame.

This is inevitable.

I want to go back to my old self but this thing right here makes so much sense. This right here will help me be what I want to be, I will use this pain to motivate me and to be determine in setting my goal and be on the right track to achieve it.

I've thrown away everything, I've got nothing to lose.
I am not afraid anymore.
I just want to be left alone, don't want to be meddled with.
I'm asking this to you, begging.

Please understand and give me a little bit of time, alone.
I just need to find myself, it pains me to push you away like that.
To be honest, I really don't want to do it but I'm just so sick and tired of everything.

I'm so sorry that I have to do this, I know I'm a terrible person for doing this and I hate myself for it.
If there is a reset button to life I'd be smashing it time and time again just to correct all the mistakes I've done, but I gotta go through this.

I must, in order for me to attain that Nirvana.

I know, I know. It's superficial and exaggerated but I believe that this is a step closer to achieving it. I've been laid back my entire life and living it in the moment, not thinking about the future or what's ahead of me.

I've wasted enough time, time that I cannot take back anymore.
I've already disappointed a lot of people, especially the people that cares about me and that truly matters.

I'm really dumb for letting this happen, for letting the opportunity slip by my hands.
All of you have been patient and understanding to me yet I abused that gesture, pretending to have everything under control and in progress yet in reality I haven't done a thing.

I am a big failure, I know I am and you still believed in me.
I can't thank you enough for being there for me but what I did to you is unforgiving, you don't deserve to be treated this way.

I'm letting you go so that you can soar high, enough of me dragging you down.
I know for a fact that you don't settle for someone like me yet you were tied down because of what happened. You really don't have to do me a favor by sticking by me, we both know that you were only forced into doing so because of our unborn child.

I'm a mess and there is no denying that, I act tough and credible just because I am insecure of what I am, of what I've become. I don't have much to offer and I'm giving you everything that I got, I'm sorry if it isn't that much.

I'm experiencing self pity right now, I'm all over the place.
I deserve this, this is my own doing. I should suffer for what I've done.
This is a terrible thing to experience but hopefully I'll be able to mature and learn a lot from this.

I literally have no desire about everything, no will to make chit chats.
No energy to even answer a question.
Everything seems to be a blur, like the day seems to be a stream of blur that you have to fathom through.

I just want to drown myself with work and spend most of my time at the gym, I don't normally go on overtimes but right now I'm ready to volunteer just so that I could drain myself.