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RE: Thoughts from a couch on Christmas Eve

I'm here on the blockchain early Christmas morning trying to cut down on some of my open browser tabs. I'd get excited by Steemit & one good author would recommend other people & I'd saved so many folks that I needed to check out that my phone got overwhelmed & so did my brain. I keep lying to to myself that I'll catch up enough to finally join & contribute, but some of the posts I'd meant to read are now over a year old & the writers have stopped posting. Oops.

Which I guess is why I'm really here at 3 am on a holiday. Steemit has been on my mind lately
& my heart led me here. With the year coming to an end I'm trying to decide where to shift my focus. I say I want to write, but I don't. I hope I put my money where my mouth is and find my voice & embrace the fear instead of hiding under the covers.

I don't have much in the way of friends & family, so there won't be a traditional celebration here. My one buddies car got stolen for the second time since I've known him so I couldn't tag along to shop for Christmas dinner so it'll probably be burritos alone. At least I can have beans then! But slowly I've been letting people into my life again which is a bit vulnerable & scary. I have a present to open this Christmas and that feels a bit like magic though. I feel like a child trying to resist opening it & I love that.

For a lot of years my presents were imaginary & under a tree in World of Warcraft until I stopped playing 4 years ago. This Christmas I have a real gift to open & another family member sent me treats & decorations and that made my heart warm & smiley & I need to both give and receive more of that energy in my life. Here's hoping.

I like your spartan tree btw. Trees pull off the naked thing so well. :)

Merry Christmas!

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