Do Not Just Make Conclusions About The Reason Behind People's Actions. Instead, Get Close To Them And Help Them Out In Any Way You Can.

in mentorship •  2 years ago 

I have heard so many people talk about the reason why you have to keep smiling and as well the great benefits behind your smile. I have as well read so many articles on the benefits of a good smile and those things are really good enough reasons to want to make you smile the more.

So, when you see people who usually wear a frown on their faces, you begin to ask yourself questions on what could be the reason and maybe if they have not heard about the benefits behind a good smile.

But, rather than making fast and sometimes wrong conclusions, why not just get close to them and possibly become the reason why they will begin to smile because sometimes, they might not even have any reason at all to smile.

So, I meet a young pretty Lady sometime back and she constantly wore a frown on her face, I walked up to her one day and I wanted to know the reason behind the constant frown, because I saw just beyond her appearance and I saw the beauty in her, I knew something must be wrong, there must be a reason behind the constant frown on the face.

When I asked her for the reason why she does not smile, she said she was fine and that was not just good enough for me because I was interested, I wanted to know more, when I tried talking to her again, she walked out on me and I was left there expecting her to come back but she never did.

My friends laughed at me when I told them about what happened and that is because they warned me about her and she had been tagged to be a snub, but I just felt there was something different, I mean something that makes her walk on her own without smiling to anyone, and I was ready to become a shoulder she could lean on, if only she was ready to open up to me.

I tried again the next day and she turned me down again. I looked straight into her eyes and I said to her, it is not as if I cannot walk out on you or term you as a snub like other people have done, but I feel there is something you need to talk about, you have to get unnecessary things off your mind because you cannot afford to live an unhappy life forever.

She told me she was happy the way she was and she was walking out again when I pulled her back. I just want to be a friend and that is all. I discovered she had a watery face already and as a gentleman, I had a handkerchief in my pocket which I handed over to her to wipe her face.

I took her to a place where she could sit and talk, I was ready to listen to all she had to say. She told me that she was not a snub and she was cold towards people and most especially towards the opposite sex because she had been heartbroken before.
She told me about the guy she had loved and loved with her heart, everyone thought their marriage should be soonest because of their public and private display of affection towards each other.

After some time, he told her he was working on a project and he needed financial assistance, she immediately ran to different places to raise fund to help him secure his business and all was to no avail, at that time her struggling parents sent her school fee and as difficult as it looked, she decided to make the sacrifice for the love of her love.

She gave him her school fee for that year, with the hope that she could cover up later, she sold some of her jwellries and cloth as well and she gave all the money to him that morning only for her to get back to his house the following day and she was told he had moved out.

She called and called but his phone was switched off, she could not face her family nor friends, she was devastated and she wished someone will just wake her up and tell her that she had been dreaming.

Her father disowned her when he found out about what she had done and sent her out of the house, it was since that time that she lost her happiness, she lost her smiles, she lost everything and she just preferred to be on her own with her headset listening to music.

I must confess that I was dumbfounded, I did not know what else to say to her than to say all will be well my friend.

This story is not a perfect description of what happened but just to let you know that it is important that we do not judge too quickly, rather we should take out our time to get close to the individuals involved, try to know what the problem is and find a way to provide solutions in every possible way. Remember that the fact that life is fair with you does not make it fair for everyone.

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And that's how this jumping in to conclusions is silently eating into the fabric of the society. I hope humanity regains its core and love becomes the most important thing when we look at people rather than judging them

Truetalk. People just tend to conclude almost immediately instead of finding a way to help and love them

That was an interesting story, thanks for sharing!

Thanks for going through my blog

This is a very applicable especially with my colleagues in school...
Theres one of them whose very hostile towards females....

Just recently i got to know hes the only child of his parents and he had watched his mom beat his dad while growing up...
Before i knew this i had a wrong impression about this guy but now i know better.

dont judge a book by its cover

I shared your thought sir, hasty generalization in philosophy always leads to false conclusion, we should not be quick to conclude on any situation but get to the root of it before giving our verdict. Thanks for the piece

This is a bad habbit we have .
One thing we can do is to look at peoples action as a result from an ecuation .
The action he makes is based on previous efforts . Every thing that is if front of the result matters , the entire ecuation matters .

Wow... do not judge a book by its cover

I was trully touched by your story sir
Nice content

Very touching, its really bad to judge people. A very big thank you @gbenga for this touching story. God bless you

Insightful, u made a great point here.

@gbenga .It is sad that people see their fellow beings as things to be used to acheive their personal agendas irregardless of the other person's feelings.Kudos to you for stepping up,chronic loneliness is a disease in itself that usually kills from the inside out.

Everyone is a bag of emotions. The face is truly a mirror image of what's on the mind.

Just to let you know that it is important that we do not judge too quickly, rather we should take out our time to get close to the individuals involved, try to know what the problem is and find a way to provide solutions in every possible way. Remember that the fact that life is fair with you does not make it fair for everyone.
I totally agree with you on this
Nice post brother.

The experience of the lady was touching.Like you wrote,we should not judge people from the face they wear but know the person behind the face.Never judge a book by it's cover open it to know it's content.Thanks for this message.You don't just write this but I have seen you live what you write.God bless you.

This is true. The world has always been full of judgmental people, which is bad. Rather than that we should help one another.

Making conclusions about peoples actions have been a common stuff, no body is ready to know the reason behind d frowning face but just give a crazy conclusion. I would agree with you sire, we shoulf try out best to know why some people act the way they act. Looking at the story in the post, who could have ever agine that such thing had happend to the girl. Dont conclude without knowing the reason.

@gbenga my boss. Thanks for your always inspiring. Really am looking for your contact for me to work together with you on a vision am growing in steemit. Please i will be grateful if i speak with you on phone. Thanks for your understanding

You are right
That life is fair to you doesn't mean its fair to person next to you.

We have in one time or the other judged people without knowing them. Most times we see people walking not having a clue of what's going on in their heads neither do we know the troubles going through their minds. Trust me, the clothes we wear covers a lot, not every mind is at peace. Some are going through financial, emotional, some spiritual! But at every point in time even if its not so pleasant just try and put a smile on someone's face it may just be the healing they need. @gbenga, you made a good move, I'm sure she'll never forget that in a hurry. Well done and God bless you effort towards making others happy.

Well written and full of nuggets of wisdom.

Prejudice is sometimes defined as prejudging.....There are so many bad birds out there, but not all bad birds have a sharp beak, there are some whose beaks are long but will never take a chance picking skins, but grains...... Appearance most times shouldnot be used to jugde someone's ability. Nice story, excellent concept.

Learnt this same lesson this week....There's more to things than meets the eye

I love this.
Some people don't have time to go extra mile to know the reason behind the actions of other but rather they prefer to keep judging.
We all have reasons for our actions, but it takes a man with compassion to want to know about those reasons.

I looked straight into her eyes and I said to her, it is not as if I cannot walk out on you or term you as a snub like other people have done, but I feel there is something you need to talk about, you have to get unnecessary things off your mind because you cannot afford to live an unhappy life forever.

Oga gbenga, I must confess, u get lyrics for mouth. Only this words alone is enough to make Beyonce leave Jay-Z to cry on your shoulder every night..😂

We have so believed in sight that Judging others from afar has deeply eaten our respect .maybe because finding faults about the other makes us feel like a better person or maybe because we avoid the risk of being snubbed. atleast am happy you portrayed an attitude of a leader by not judging or concluding on just visual concept .

Situations make people seem difficult and she's been through much but she should know it only gets better (She'll be fine) Is just a matter of time, might not heal but will get better.

I am fine!

The very words that we used to deceive ourselves and others around us while hurting deep.

Baba, You are brave sha ooo