Out of the blue...
Not in a good way...
This morning, our son phoned to tell me he's off work and heading for the doctor.
He's what my grandmothers would have described as 'down in the dumps'.
In the last few months a number of young lads his age - his friends, school friends, people he knew and didn't realise they had problems - have taken the drastic and permanent step of taking their own lives and it's a very real danger these days.
Obviously we, his parents, are worried, concerned and wanting to help.
Haydn has a lovely little family, he and his fiancée have a child, a house, the usual bills and debts and it's been getting him down for a few months now. He's tried to overcome it, dismiss it and ignore it, but he's finally accepted he needs help and he's plucked up the courage and he's asked.
It's a better step than the alternative.
Sometimes, the doctors don't seem willing or able to do anything and it was a refreshing change for him to see a doctor who not only seemed like she wanted to help, she seemed sympathetic and gentle with it.
While I'm not looking for sympathy in this matter, I'm writing about it because:
a) it helps for me to wrap my head around it all
b) just in case anyone out there is thinking the same as he was - please don't go that extra step to permanently rid yourself of the overwhelming feelings you're burdened with right now.
c) it's an explanation that I may not be around as much - but I'm not going anywhere.
If you have thoughts that you'd be doing everyone a favour, speak to someone! Those loved ones you think would be better off without you and your problems, really wouldn't be better off. The world is a far better place for them with you in it!
They would rather put up with you complaining about not having any money than visiting your graveside, talking to thin air, saying how sorry they were that they weren't there for you.
Do NOT isolate yourself. At the moment, the worst person to speak to is yourself. No, I'm not saying 'get over it,' because I know it's not that easy. You do need to speak to someone that can be sympathetic to your needs at that moment AND someone who has the knowledge and experience to be able to help you.
Please, for the sake of you, your friends and family and just about everyone that knows you, please speak up.
You're worth ALL the trouble, the hassle and sleepless nights to help you get through this and you WILL get through this.
Take care of you
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We had a drink Friday night for stefs birthday and he let out a little bit of what he's been locking up inside. The recent losses hasn't helped anything, I know that and I have seen it in him. We share the same worries with money and family providing, so I'll have a chat to him this week make sure he's thinking the right way about it, it's so easy to think the worse when in that mind state :(
Thank you. I think that will help. He needs his friends and family to pull together. His trouble is he thinks too much... his mind doesn't stop and he has no outlet for his thoughts. I hoped Steemit would help...
I think he's lost his password (doh) I know Stef has (no shock)... I'll suggest he gives it another try; if he's off work maybe he can spend a little more time getting into it properly, and write a few things down.
He didn't tell me that! I did tell them both to keep the password safe!
Yeah, he's coming here to take advantage of the internet and try to pass his car test...
It's about time too :)
He has taken the most important step in admitting he needs help and seeking it. I know for a bloke that can be hard as we all think we can just keep going. If he is starting a course of tablets then keep a close eye out for any side effects, yes read that leaflet in the box as it is there for a reason.
Good luck and I hope Haydn can now move torwards returning to health, he has took a major step forward.
Now it's my turn, if you need anything just ask.
My prayers and heart go out to you and your family in your troubling times. I am glad that he has gone to see a doctor. The most important step is that he has recognised he has a problem that he needs help with. This means he has caught the necessity of treatment early in the illness. He needs all the love and support that you can give him t this time.
I have had more than 30 years experience in the field of mental health. I have also experienced a suicide in my family 13 years ago, my middle brother. He also had friends roughly the same age that had committed suicide. It devasted the family and his friends. I don't think he had the proper treatment or early enough to prevent it. So I understand what you are going through. If you need support, just let me. I am here for you. Just a discord chat away.
Life is such a burden to people today with all that is going on and we are constantly bombarded with it. So glad he is open to working through these feelings.
I tell you last week was tough my energy was so drained.
My heart is with you guys.
I'm glad he took that initiative to speak with a doctor. That's a huge step. Sending you prayers and hugs.
Your Son reached out, which is the first big hurdle. What comes next takes everyone working together to find a solution. Prayers up for you all. 🐓🐓
Dear Thanks for writing on this topic with some valuable messages. For this kind of person When it comes to helping with mental health problems, providing them with quality information on their disorder is essential. Many mental disorders go undiagnosed because the sufferer is simply unaware their symptoms aren’t normal. They might feel the need to internalize the problems they’re having for fear others won’t understand, or they might not see the pattern of dysfunction their behavior is causing in their everyday life. It’s vital for friends and family members to speak up when they see a problem because that’s often the only way a person will realize the need for help.
Its really good that your son contacted doctor. I wish you and your family be happy and have not any problem with your family in future.
Two relatives of mine took this decision, for different reasons. One of them was a dear, dear friend of mine.
Words cannot begin to describe it.
Yes. Speak up. That is the way it should go. That is the only way we have to prevent it. To deal with it.
I wish you all the best, Michelle. You know I do. All the best.
I've had this post from @lahvista open in my browser for a while but haven't quite got to it yet. It's the first in a series of 3 or 4, about her struggles with wanting to end it all, before she got some help. It might be something worth you having a read of yourself. Then if there's anything helpful for him, you can mention it when and if the time is right.
https://steemit.com/suicide/@lahvista/suicide-is-an-option-part-one-intro
xx