SUNSHOWERPRINTABLES Having Hope: Am I Getting Greedy?
Having Hope - Am I Getting Greedy?
Here's the thing... everyone has ups and downs. Even without a mental illness playing tug-o'-war on emotions, people experience highs and lows in their normal, everyday lives. But the emotional rollercoaster of dealing with a mental illness is a much less fun ride.
Recently, I've been feeling alright. Perhaps it is the creation of this blog and the sense of accomplishment it brings... or it could be the fact that I've been working towards my health and recovery with a renewed sense of determination. Whatever the cause, I've been feeling slightly more hopeful.
And that terrifies me.
Whenever I feel hope... whenever I smile and start to think maybe I can do this... it makes the fall so much harder. The nagging thought that I will crash, just like a child from eating too much candy, is ever present in my mind.
And you know what a realized? That is depression itself. That is the worst aspect of the disease… the way it can convince you that good times are fleeting and its’ presence is forever. That having hope is greedy.
Well fuck depression! Even if tomorrow is a bad day and I mess up or fall down, that will not stop me!
So I’m going to be greedy. I am going to be hopeful. And I am going to overcome this.
Thanks for reading!
P.S. Day 5 of 365 - Starting MyFitnessPal Tracking for one week (more on that later)!
~Lexie
Photography from Pexels and used under the CC0 license.
Original article posted on March 28, 2017 by Lexie on the official SunshowerPrintables blog.