How to be confident around girls

There’s a secret. You wanna know it? You learned it when you were four or five and forgot it.

…Ready?

Everybody Poops.

Its what I think of when I’m like…OMG SHE”S SOOOOO HAWT> ME DUMB. I stop for a second and imagine her sitting on a toilet with ploop, ploooooop diarrhea sounds. I smile and laugh to myself, because I know this happened. It is a true thing.

All of a sudden, she’s not super intimidating. She’s a girl, she poops just like you, like me, like everybody else.

After that, its easy.

…this is still a secret, okay. You are never to tell a woman you know she poops.