H.E.A.L. honor e a love NRЯИ

in memorial •  4 months ago 

I wake up this morning and take a deep breath. Today is so significant. A week after my Uterine Fibroid Embolization, I am still recovering. Grateful for this opportunity to heal. Nowadays I have become very curious about healing. My healing process has encountered numerous scenarios, from the alleged abuse before I was three years old to this current physical restructuring of my belly. "Bye, bye fibroids," I continuously remind myself after every painful uterine cramp rocks my lower region. This is healing? It hurts!! Ah yes, but there is an end in sight. A process. A beginning, middle, and end. A cycle. And there is only now.

Right now as I write these words and breathe these breaths, I want to take a moment and say thank you to my dad. He has significantly contributed to my curious ways, to how I look at the world, and to my love for knowledge. "The truth will set you free,” I am certain I heard him exclaim many times. His gravestone dated death July 21, 2012 contradicts the July 19th Major Crimes Unit reported date. Seven years later I honor my father, the only physical father I have known along with this legal illusion, abuse of the truth, this allowable deception. How does this unravel? How many more things are not what they seem?

I find peace knowing that life is eternal, a natural cycle I continue to learn to love by being curious, asking questions, and allowing. Love you forever, Dad!! With your death I have learned how to honor all experiences that make me who I am while continuing to build a better version of now with each choice that I make. #authenticity NRЯИ
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