HI folks! Today I'm going to take you through a step by step tutorial on how to spread complete bullshit using the wonderful medium of memes.
Now you may be wondering why you would want to spread falsehoods across the interweb; but don't worry about that folks, there are quite literally tons of reasons why you would want to lie through memery. Here are just a few:
Highlighting an important cause that you feel isn't getting enough airtime.
A politician you don't like seems to be getting too popular, and you want to stick it to him/her.
You want to add weight to an unproven conspiracy theory that you believe in.
Just for the sheer hell of it.
You enjoy the feeling of putting out a complete lie, that people will one day repeat as truth.
And many, many more!!
So come on folks, let's take a look at the four basic rules of memebullshitia. After learning these sacred tenants you too can add to the growing, festering, digital pile of lies, misinformation, and complete bullshit!
Step One - Use Intelligent Dead People
This is probably the number one tactic of memebullshitia, hence it is the first thing you should remember. Writing stupid words next to intelligent people, make those words seem also intelligent.
This is a valuable trick, and it is the first lesson you should master young bullshitia padewon.
Step Two - Use A Popular Print Publication To Validate Your Claims
Using popular media to substantiate bullshit is a must have weapon in the armory of the memebullshitia artist. People trust credible publications because often that trust has been built up over decades, sometimes centuries. So why not take that trust and use it for your own ends?
Pretty bloody simple if you think about it logically.
Memebullshitia top tip: Try and make your bullshit quote far back in time; making it before the internet began is a brilliant way to confound the fact checkers. Either way it doesn't matter, as few people will ever fact check what's been written in a meme.
Step Three - Use Anonymous Agenda-Specific Professionals Making Ambiguous Statements
This is just common sense if you ask me! Nothing rams home a point down the throats of the deniers harder than a field professional, delivering it to them through sheer meme brutality. This combined with an ambiguous statement, that leaves the reader something to work out, and therefore feel clever, is memebullshitia 10th level stuff.
Just sit back with an umbrella to shield you from all the shit flying round after it has hit the fan.
Step Four - Use Quotation Marks
This little trick is subtle yet devastatingly effective. You might be thinking; hang on a sec, I'm already using the name of a much loved, defunkt publication from before the internet age; why the overkill?!
Well my little padewon, quotation marks are your cognitive lockpick; they allow you to hack into the brains of your readers and force them to believe what you have written is true. Everybody understands quotation marks mean the person actually said those things!
WARNING!!!Ignore this at your peril! Don't get called on your bullshit!!
Of course there are many steps to enlightenment and becoming a true memebullshita master; however these are the fundamental principles of bullshitting via memery.
Go; go now! Go and practise your art; the people must know, they must be deceived!!!
Go Forth Now My Brothers And Sisters!!! And Prey Tell Of Your Own Memebullshitia Experiences Below!!!
Till Next Time